A Happy Post!! :) :)

I am 4 weeks into my 10-week MBA Summer Internship and thought this would be a good time to write about my experience till now. I am working with a technology start-up, Lockhouse Network (lockhouse.net) , in Pittsburgh as a Corporate Strategy & Business Development Intern.

I absolutely LOVE working at this place!! I don't think I've ever felt more excited, enthusiastic, and happy while working before. If I remember correctly, I was almost always frustrated and stressed with my old job. But this is just a turn around. This time everything is different, and all for the good!

Y'all must be wondering about the reasons behind my joy and excitement about this job. Well, there are quite a few of them but I'll share the most important ones with you.

1. Struggle: I had to struggle hard for 4 months before this internship offer materialized. It was tough giving so many interviews and keeping sane. I was determined not to take up any random offer and applied only for the jobs I was truly interested in. But it all paid off in the end and suddenly from zero offers one day I had 3 offers within the next 7 days :) :) It was a good kind of stress to make the correct decision. My heart was set on Lockhouse from the beginning, but I assumed I had to decide using my head. So I had a lot of discussions with my parents and friends, and when they also encouraged me to follow my heart I went with this offer. Believe me, I thank god everyday that I listened to my heart and ended up here!

2. People: The one thing I've realized after working at Lockhouse is that the people you work with is the single most important factor in determining your degree of satisfaction and contentment with a company. Money, career growth, etc. are also important, but secondary factors. I'm working directly with the CEO and the VP - Marketing & Strategy, and they are Amazing!! Both of them are very down-to-earth, humble, respectful, and flexible. Both of them have accomplished so much in their life, but they have no arrogance or superiority complex about it. After dealing with arrogant and uptight company personnel for so long this was a pleasant surprise for me!

3. Work: The second most important thing to consider while deciding on a job offer. When I decided to go with Lockhouse I knew what I had to do, but I'd never imagined that it would be such high responsibility work. My opinion is asked, and taken into account, for any business-related decision that is to be taken. Also, I had never thought that I'd be using so many concepts that I had learned during my first year of MBA. But every other day I go back to look at the notes of some course I had taken last year, to move in the right direction. Some courses and workshops that have proved to be very very useful are - Service Management, Finance, Marketing Research, Marketing Management, Writing for Managers, Management Presentations, Pricing, and Excel Modeling for Managers. It gives me such great satisfaction to actually be using the concepts learned in the mentioned courses.
Another exciting thing related to work is the amount of appreciation I get for doing this work. I admit that I am not comfortable with getting compliments about my work because I feel I'm just doing my job, but that doesn't deter my managers from continuously appreciating whatever I do.

There are a lot of other things that I love about that place but it'll take me a long time to list them down.

I don't know what is in store for me in the long term, and what will happen after the 10 weeks are over. I only hope and pray that it is as good as this opportunity with Lockhouse!

Checking Out Now!
Ciao :)

Indian vs. American Kids

I've heard a lot of differing opinions on this post, so thought of putting a Disclaimer: This post almost exclusively describes the behavior of kids whose parents are from India, but the kids themselves have been born and brought up in the US of A! Also, this is my personal opinion based on my observations and in no way a generalization!!

I've been on Spring Break for the last 2 weeks. Before the start of my vacations, I made many plans to visit new places in and outside US, and explore. But, similar to any other American grad student living on limited budget and under the shadow of huge student loans, I ended up spending Spring Break at my relatives' place in Cleveland and New Jersey, catching up on movies and Grey's Anatomy episodes, and barely stepping out of the house. However, it was not a complete waste. I observed the daily workings of a typical American household and compared it to an Indian household. I also got a good look at the behavior and etiquette of American kids and yes, again compared it with the behavior of kids back in my homeland.

Before I go into the details, I want everyone who has been brought up in India to thank their parents for the "sanskaars" and values they've instilled in us. We should be proud of all the manners that are a part of the Indian culture and we've been taught by our family members.

When I see the way kids in the US behave with their parents, their teachers, guests who visit their home or just about anyone elder to them, I'm amazed at the lack of respect and in some cases, civility. Here is a list of a few traits that are common across most of the children born and brought up in the US (if you're aware of the number of relatives I have in this country, you'll understand that my sample size is quite large):

Disrespectful - As I've already mentioned above, this is the one thing that is common to all the kids here. They don't respect the elders in they way we do in India. I understand there's a major cultural difference between the two countries, but this is something that should not be affected by cultures. Respecting elders should be taught to every kid irrespective of the country they live in.

Indifferent - This is another thing I've observed that the American kids are very indifferent to the emotions, needs, and preferences of others. For them, it's all about I, Me, and Myself. Everything they want, everything they do/don't do is purely for themselves.This could also be called Selfish behavior, which is another terminology I agree with.

Money-minded - Kids here are completely fine with spending their parents' money without a care in the world, but ask them to shell out a penny from their own pocket and they'll think a thousand times. I'm not saying that kids in India don't do that. I am guilty of that too, but then I think equally hard before spending my parents' hard earned money too. But here, kids don't think at all before making huge demands to their parents and expect them to be met immediately.

Inflexible - American kids are not willing to compromise on pretty much anything. They want all their demands to be met, exactly the way they want it, with immediate effect. On the other hand, I find Indian kids to be quite flexible and accommodating. This again stems from the fact that we've been taught to take into account everyone's opinions and feelings before making a decision or before demanding something. But in the US, it all me, me, and me.

These area few glaring differences that I found in Indian and American kids. There are a lot many subtle differences, which are hard to explain and write about. I agree most of these are due to the differences in culture and the bringing up of children in the two countries, and I'm also not trying to be critical. It's just an insight into the contrast of values and the basic moral teachings of two cultures.

Just a last piece of advice before signing off: All you Indians, if in future your parents accuse you of being disrespectful, lazy, or argumentative, just send them to spend a week with American kids. I'm pretty sure you'll be the angels of their eyes after that one week. I'm surely gonna try that in the future.

Signing Out,

Ciao! 

The Perfect Song for my MBA Journey

The last 6-7 months have been a roller coaster ride for me. It is said that an MBA is a very intense course and you lose the track of your life during these 2 years. You are basically thrown in front of a train and have to constantly race against time to avoid being hit by that fast-paced train. You have to be on the top of your game at all times, one wrong step and all the effort you've put in can be wasted.
All of the above is true. It is also true that the stress levels are very high with so many things going around you. An MBA student has to successfully juggle multiple things at a time - Recruitment, Course Work, Homework, Networking, Housework, Social Events etc.

But the one thing that no one tells you about is how to juggle relationships with your peers. When you come into an MBA program you meet a large set of people from different countries, backgrounds, and cultures. You work with them in teams, hang out with them, and practically spend 3/4th of your day with them doing something or the other. You like some people, dislike some people, and for some your opinion keeps on changing constantly because you can't really understand them. But at the end of the day they are your competitors in every field. However, in the course of all this you also find a few people you can trust and genuinely talk to. You can be yourself with them and don't have to always keep your guard on. They become your circle of close friends.

But let me caution you, don't get fooled by this circle of friends and don't think of it as permanent! As is said, everything in the MBA is about professional relationships. You gradually realize that majority of your close friends are also nothing but opportunists who are with you till the time you are of some use to them. Be it homework, recruitment stuff, or something else. They are with you because of what you can do for them and not because of who you are. Also, they wouldn't hesitate in moving to the next group of people when they've extracted all benefits from you. That is when you realize how alone you are in reality and how you just cannot afford to trust anyone!

This has been my biggest learning from an MBA program till now. Never ever take any friendship/relationship you have in an MBA program to be permanent. It is simply a transactional professional relationship. This reminds of a popular song from a movie called Page 3, which is a perfect explanation of the nature of relationships in an MBA. Here are the lyrics:

Kitne ajib rishte hai yaha pe - (3)
 Do pal milate hai, saath saath chalate hai - (2)
 Jab mod aaye toh, bachake nikalate hai
 Kitne ajib rishte hai yaha pe - (2)
 Do pal milate hai, saath saath chalate hai - (2)
 Jab mod aaye toh, bachake nikalate hai
 
 Yaha sabhee apanee hee dhun mai divaane hai - (2)
 Kare wahee jo apna dil kee hee maane hai
 Kaun kisko puchhe, kaun kisko bole - (2)
 Sabke labon par apane taraane hai - (2)
 Le jaaye nasib kisi ko kaha pe
 Kitne ajib rishte hai yaha pe - (2)
 
 Khwaabo kee yeh duniya hai, khwaabo me hee rehna hai - (2)
 Raahe le jaaye jaha, sang sang chalana hai
 Wakt ne hamesha yaha naye khel khele - (2)
 Kuchh bhee ho jaaye, yaha bas khush rehana hai - (2)
 Manjil lage karib sabako yaha pe
 Kitne ajib rishte hai yaha pe
 Do pal milate hai, saath saath chalate hai - (2)
 Jab mod aaye toh bach ke nikalate hai
 Kitne ajib rishte hai yaha pe - (6)

Do I Love My Delhi Anymore?

'Do I love my Delhi, and its people, anymore?' I have been pondering over this question for quite some time now. To be more precise, from the time a heinous crime like rape has become very common in this city. From the time all citizens of the female gender are viewed by majority of the men as pieces of flesh and not as fellow human beings. When I was in the US, I used to miss this city, which is my hometown since birth. I have spent almost 25 years here, and till recently, I have been very proud to call myself a Delhite. The phrase, "Dilli dilwalon ki" was used by me countless times while describing this once vibrant and beautiful city to my relatives in the US. I spoke of Delhi's citizens, its chaos, its traffic, even its crowd, with pride. But now I realize how foolish and how wrong I was. I was praising a place where I, as a woman, do not have any rights or respect. I have been raving about a society which is judgmental towards females and see them as an object.

All the girls and women who live in Delhi are aware, and have at some time in their life been victims, of the menace of eve-teasing. Not just in public transport or crowded markets, it is rampant everywhere. Being a girl, I can tell you that whenever I walk alone on the streets of Delhi, I can feel prying eyes on me. It is an intuition, a tingle in the spine, but it’s there. I have travelled by the Delhi Metro continuously for 5 years, and there have been several instances when I either changed my position due to the roving hands of a fellow male passenger, or tried to push away a guy hell bent on getting closer to me. However, over time, I learnt to ignore such advances because I had understood the mentality of this society. In the eyes of most of the Delhites, both men and women, the girl is always at fault. The victim is frowned upon by the people, instead of the wrong-doer. Thus, these instances had become a routine for me and most of the time I did not give them a second thought.

However, recently this eve-teasing and molesting has enhanced into something as heinous as Rape. Suddenly, there is a spurt in the number of rape cases across Delhi. No one who reads the newspaper daily will disagree with me when I say that there is not even one day when there is not at least one rape case in the newspapers. There have been 651 rape cases reported in Delhi alone in 2012. To say it is shameful is an understatement. What is more shameful and shocking is the total apathy of the government and the police, and the utter failure of law and order machinery of this country. After every rape we hear our politicians and lawmen making absurd statements like—What was the girl doing out so late in the night?, the clothes the girl was wearing were inappropriate and seeking attention, she was drinking with boys so she must be of questionable character. I am sure most of us, including me, are guilty of reading about these crimes and the various statements, showing some outrage and anger, and then forgetting them in other pressures of our daily life.

Last Sunday's (16 December) case changed all this. It has been a week and still I feel sick and scared when I read about the girl’s condition. This incident shows us that it could have been anyone of us instead of that girl. She had just gone for a movie with her friend to a well-known mall. And really, 8 or 9 PM is not late by any standards. In fact, I was in the same mall on that fateful day, and I also left from there, all alone, and hour before she did. The difference is that I was in my car. But, I did drive through all the secluded spots in South Delhi to reach wherever I was supposed to go, and frankly, I was terrified!! I got lost and went on going in circles for 20 minutes. But, I did not have the courage to stop my car and ask any bystander for directions. It was such a relief that I reached my destination safely. It was only 7 PM and I felt so scared! If I had a male friend with me, I am sure I would not have felt even remotely scared, be it 7 or 8 or 9 PM. What happened with that girl is shocking, terrifying, and horrifying!!

The sheer brutality of this incident shook the whole nation and acted as a wake-up call to the youth of this country, and especially this city. We saw outrage, anger, protests, and a huge hue and cry by the people and the journalists. For the first time ever, we even saw this crime being condemned and debated in the parliament. Sushma Swaraj, Smriti Irani, Jaya Bachchan, Mayawati, Meira Kumar, etc. all came together on a common platform to discuss this. On top of that, the Delhi Police caught all the 6 accused within record time. Some of us fools thought now something will happen, change will be visible.

Alas, we were wrong again. Oh, don’t get me wrong here; the Home Minister did get down to action, but only after a very ‘strong-worded’ letter from Madam Sonia Gandhi. Chief Minister of Delhi did come out of her seclusion to address the media, but only after a phone call from Madam Sonia Gandhi, and that also to cry on National Television, thus, giving further proof of here incompetence and helplessness. And, how can I forget the plan of action that has been charted out by the Home Ministry to curb such crimes, it’s sheer brilliance!! Since this gang rape took place in a private moving bus, the geniuses decided to do the following:

1.     Do away with tinted glasses and curtains on all private buses

2.     Impound all the defaulting buses and their owners

3.     Display the details of the driver and conductor on the bus

4.     Get the buses parked with the owners at night

5.     Increase the number of PCR Vans on duty and number of policemen patrolling at night

Here’s my problem with this AWESOME “plan”. This was a one-off incident held in a bus. There are so many rapes that occur behind closed doors, in homes of the victims or the rapists, in schools, playschools, hotels, etc. What will you do in such cases, tell people to remove doors and windows from your homes, remove curtains??? Will you tell girls to stop going to school?? Is this the solution? In the past few years, there have been incidents wherein women have been gang raped in full public view but no one did anything. What do you have to say in this case? Going by this logic, please explain, how will impounding buses stop this menace?

This is not the end, mind you. About 24 hours after the Home Ministry’s plan, the Delhi government also revealed its steps. The first step Sheila Dikshit announced was to close all bars and discotheques in the city by 1 AM. My Mind = Blown!! I guess someone needs to remind her that this incident took place at 9 PM in the night in a moving bus. So, please again someone give to me the logic behind shutting these places early as a deterrent to rape.

Also, how will having more police patrolling be of any help to women in distress when these are the same policemen who justify rape, give explanations as to why a particular woman was raped (she was wearing skimpy clothes, she has a boyfriend, she was out drinking with friends, and what not), more often than not refuse to lodge an FIR, and sympathize with the rapists. Trust me I am not bluffing. Here is the link to a sting operation conducted by Tehelka, which clearly shows how insensitive our police force is: Link

More recently, the ACP of South-East Delhi, Mr. Ajay Choudhary, made this epic statement saying that this horrific gang rape a stray incident which is being blown out of proportion! We should applaud for this guy!!

My mind boggles when I read about or hear such statements and proposed solutions from people who have been entrusted with the protection of our society and the process of making laws. Is it so difficult for them to understand that the problem is much deeper? It is the mindset of the people that has to change. Men have to learn to adapt to and accept the changing face of modern Indian women. We are no longer the docile and submissive wives/daughters of yesterday, who were dependent on their husbands/fathers for everything. The present women are socially and economically independent. They can fend for themselves and can work for their family. We have to teach men and boys to let go of their superiority complex. They have to know that women are not inferior to them, that it is OK if a woman does better than you in school, college, or at the work place. That being a male does not give you the moral right to subjugate or abuse a woman – mentally, socially or sexually.

On top of that, it is extremely important to sensitize the police and to have a competent police force to investigate such crimes. A very very low conviction rate, along with lenient punishment is one of the major causes of rapes. There is no fear of law in the people. They feel that they can get away with anything by wading a few notes in front of these police personnel. Also, very long and dragging court cases, which force the victim to relive the trauma again and again, deter the victims from reporting these cases. What is the use of having death penalty for the accused if they are not arrested and/or convicted? All of this has to change.

Lastly, we as Delhites have to leave behind our attitude of indifference and come up united against all such miscreants. If you see a girl or woman in distress, being troubled by some guy, please raise your voice and if need be thrash that person there and then. But, please don’t be meek bystanders!! Show the Delhi spirit! I, for one, have decided not to ignore any more comments, stares, etc. and go forward and give it back to that guy (s).

Life...It Just Happens...

Life...It's what happens to you when you are busy making other plans for it 

I've read this quote many a times before, but have understood it only in the last few weeks, six weeks to be precise.

In my previous posts I talked about how my life underwent a major change and I landed in the US of A.

Well, while I was busy making plans for my life after two years (post the completion of my MBA from Tepper School), life itself was planning new twists and turns for me. Obviously, I lost out again and my life had a major upheaval in the last one week. Not withholding the "suspense" any longer, I just wanted to inform everyone that I arrived back in India today!!

There are millions of questions in each person's mind who hears/reads this. What happened, how did it happen, why did it happen, etc. To tell you the truth, even I don't know the answers to most of these questions. There is a long story behind it that lead to this chain of events! However, let me dispel some of the notions before they even enter your mind:

1. I was neither kicked out of the MBA program nor the country.
2. I still have my admission and can go back to start once again next year or the year after that.
3. I did not quit or run away from the program. It was a very hard and thoughtful decision involving multiple parties.

That's all for now, don't want to go into any details at this moment and spell out the story here.

Signing Off,
Aastha

Four Weeks in the US - Living the Life of a Nomad

4 weeks = 28 days completed in the US. I am not exaggerating when I say that I have lived like a true nomad in these 28 days. The longest I have stayed at one place till now is 5 days. A few of my  friends even joke about it saying that I am already living corporate a jet-setting life! I've become an expert in packing and unpacking things, living in all sorts of places, in short - living out of a suitcase.

Let me tell you a little background story here. I was supposed to share an apartment in Pittsburgh with two other girls, also from India. Since we were unable to find any suitable 3 bedroom apartment on the net through India, we decided to come to Pittsburgh and then physically search. Well, they arrived two days before me, did some customary search and ended up renting a two-bedroom apartment for themselves. I was not informed of this development, and got to know when I reached Pittsburgh. So, I had to go on an apartment hunt immediately. As luck would have it, no good 1-bedroom apartments were available from 1 August. The ones that were available were either expensive, located in a bad neighborhood or simply ugly. After much looking I had to settle for the one that was available from 1st September. Then began the long wait and the nomadic lifestyle. Here's a list of the various places I have stayed in since I arrived in the States, with a short description of each.

July 29–July 31: I was in Cleveland, Ohio, living at a relative's place. It is a nice house and I had a bedroom to myself. Very enjoyable and homely atmosphere.

August 1–August 6: I stayed in Bridgeville (a suburb of Pittsburgh) with a family friend. He lives alone in a small 2-bedroom apartment. He is moving out in December so his house is scattered with things here and there. My bedroom was quite small with a lot of his things lying around. But, somehow I managed to make room for my hefty baggage and other stuff. Then, he had to go out of city for around 2 weeks and since he lived quite far from the campus, at a place where there was no public transportation, I had no way to get to college on my own. hence, I had to move again.

August 7–August 8: I was transported by him to the place of some girl he knew. She is doing her PhD from University of Pittsburgh, and lived close to the CMU campus. Well, she was a stranger for me. Also, now she lived in the basement of an apartment building. Her apartment was just basically a very small room with a tiny kitchen and bathroom. That's it. No bedroom, closet, etc. On top of that, she had another friend from India staying with her. Thus, we were three people living in that miniature room. On top of that, the female who owned the apartment loved cooking and used to cook meals for all her friends. So, everyday during dinner time we used to have 1-2 more people joining in. It was a chaotic situation!

August 9–August 12: I went back to Cleveland because i did not have anything to do in Pittsburgh over the weekend. Also, I was feeling really really homesick and was almost ready to fly back to India, leaving my MBA behind. Again I was back at my relative's place, back in the comfort of family. Once again I enjoyed my stay there and went to visit different places.

August 13–August 16: I was back at that female's place, living with her and her friend in the cramped room. These four days were pure torture, because the girls would come home really late (around 12 AM) and there was nothing to eat in the house. Also, being a newcomer in Pittsburgh, I did not know about the eating joints. I ended up not eating dinner for 3 days, and once I survived by not eating anything for 36 hours at a stretch! I was a wreck and made innumerable calls to my folks back home to call me back to India, as I could not exist here.

August 17–August 19: My family got really worried with my phone calls and called up my relatives in Cleveland, who again sent me a ticket to visit them during this weekend too. So, I traveled to Cleveland for the third time. I just ate and slept there, and did not do anything else.

August 20: My uncle came back from wherever he had gone, and I moved back to his place.

August 21–August 24: During the weekend I was in Cleveland, there was a new development. One of my many uncles staying in New Jersey, one uncle called me and insisted that I come and visit them during the next week, so that I would feel a little less lonely and homesick. I refused, but he was insistent, and sent me a flight ticket. So, I flew to New Jersey on Tuesday (August 21) and have been staying here.

It is not over yet, because I have another week to go through before I get my own apartment. I don't know how many places will I end up switching in the coming week!

I leave New Jersey tomorrow morning, and so have to pack. Will write more later!

Signing Off,
The Nomad!

Family..How I Miss It

For 24 years and 6 months of my life, I was in the protective cocoon of my home and family. Around 3 weeks back my life took a dramatic turn and I landed in the US, all alone without any family member. That is when I realized the true meaning and importance of having your family close to you.

Don't get me wrong, I have always immensely loved and respected my family. However, there are quite a few things that I had taken for granted all these years. Also, there were things that I had become so accustomed to that I did not realize how much I will miss them. Small and trivial things, such as sitting  in my room and listening to my mom watching soap operas in her room, having silly fights with my sister, those 15 minute chatting sessions with my dad after he came home at 10.30 PM, Sunday dinners with everyone, my mom hugging me for no reason once in a while, etc. Also, there are so many chores that I never had to worry about when I was at home, such as washing the clothes, making my bed, breakfast/lunch/dinner, etc. Then there was the unconditional love you get from your parents, siblings and grandparents. I think there is no other place in this world where a person can be loved so truly and completely, and accepted with all of his/her imperfections, except your own home.

There were so many times when during arguments/fights with my parents, I would say to them, "I will be better off staying alone with no one to interfere in my life!" I admit how wrong I was. I now understand that it was their interference in my life that made it so smooth.I really miss those instructions that I received from my parents, all those advisories about where to go, when to be back home, what to do and what not to do, how to go about a problem, etc. In short, I miss their constant interference in my day to day life.

Probably for the first time in my life, I am independent and completely on my own, and that also in a country like the US. It sounds really exciting and fun, but for me it's not. It is hard surviving on your own with no one for moral support. It's hard knowing that no one is waiting for you at home and coming back to an empty house. It's hard not having your near and dear ones with you to discuss your feelings, your fears, and your apprehensions with. But it's the hardest just being away from your family!

I feel extremely lonely and scared. In the past few days, all I have been thinking about is whether I made the right decision by coming here to do my MBA and spending such a humongous amount of money. Will I be able to survive in such a competitive MBA program and get a good internship/job? How will I be able to live without my family for so long?

I don't know where life will take me and what will become of me. I guess I will figure out as I go along.

Signing Off,
Aastha