Do I Love My Delhi Anymore?

'Do I love my Delhi, and its people, anymore?' I have been pondering over this question for quite some time now. To be more precise, from the time a heinous crime like rape has become very common in this city. From the time all citizens of the female gender are viewed by majority of the men as pieces of flesh and not as fellow human beings. When I was in the US, I used to miss this city, which is my hometown since birth. I have spent almost 25 years here, and till recently, I have been very proud to call myself a Delhite. The phrase, "Dilli dilwalon ki" was used by me countless times while describing this once vibrant and beautiful city to my relatives in the US. I spoke of Delhi's citizens, its chaos, its traffic, even its crowd, with pride. But now I realize how foolish and how wrong I was. I was praising a place where I, as a woman, do not have any rights or respect. I have been raving about a society which is judgmental towards females and see them as an object.

All the girls and women who live in Delhi are aware, and have at some time in their life been victims, of the menace of eve-teasing. Not just in public transport or crowded markets, it is rampant everywhere. Being a girl, I can tell you that whenever I walk alone on the streets of Delhi, I can feel prying eyes on me. It is an intuition, a tingle in the spine, but it’s there. I have travelled by the Delhi Metro continuously for 5 years, and there have been several instances when I either changed my position due to the roving hands of a fellow male passenger, or tried to push away a guy hell bent on getting closer to me. However, over time, I learnt to ignore such advances because I had understood the mentality of this society. In the eyes of most of the Delhites, both men and women, the girl is always at fault. The victim is frowned upon by the people, instead of the wrong-doer. Thus, these instances had become a routine for me and most of the time I did not give them a second thought.

However, recently this eve-teasing and molesting has enhanced into something as heinous as Rape. Suddenly, there is a spurt in the number of rape cases across Delhi. No one who reads the newspaper daily will disagree with me when I say that there is not even one day when there is not at least one rape case in the newspapers. There have been 651 rape cases reported in Delhi alone in 2012. To say it is shameful is an understatement. What is more shameful and shocking is the total apathy of the government and the police, and the utter failure of law and order machinery of this country. After every rape we hear our politicians and lawmen making absurd statements like—What was the girl doing out so late in the night?, the clothes the girl was wearing were inappropriate and seeking attention, she was drinking with boys so she must be of questionable character. I am sure most of us, including me, are guilty of reading about these crimes and the various statements, showing some outrage and anger, and then forgetting them in other pressures of our daily life.

Last Sunday's (16 December) case changed all this. It has been a week and still I feel sick and scared when I read about the girl’s condition. This incident shows us that it could have been anyone of us instead of that girl. She had just gone for a movie with her friend to a well-known mall. And really, 8 or 9 PM is not late by any standards. In fact, I was in the same mall on that fateful day, and I also left from there, all alone, and hour before she did. The difference is that I was in my car. But, I did drive through all the secluded spots in South Delhi to reach wherever I was supposed to go, and frankly, I was terrified!! I got lost and went on going in circles for 20 minutes. But, I did not have the courage to stop my car and ask any bystander for directions. It was such a relief that I reached my destination safely. It was only 7 PM and I felt so scared! If I had a male friend with me, I am sure I would not have felt even remotely scared, be it 7 or 8 or 9 PM. What happened with that girl is shocking, terrifying, and horrifying!!

The sheer brutality of this incident shook the whole nation and acted as a wake-up call to the youth of this country, and especially this city. We saw outrage, anger, protests, and a huge hue and cry by the people and the journalists. For the first time ever, we even saw this crime being condemned and debated in the parliament. Sushma Swaraj, Smriti Irani, Jaya Bachchan, Mayawati, Meira Kumar, etc. all came together on a common platform to discuss this. On top of that, the Delhi Police caught all the 6 accused within record time. Some of us fools thought now something will happen, change will be visible.

Alas, we were wrong again. Oh, don’t get me wrong here; the Home Minister did get down to action, but only after a very ‘strong-worded’ letter from Madam Sonia Gandhi. Chief Minister of Delhi did come out of her seclusion to address the media, but only after a phone call from Madam Sonia Gandhi, and that also to cry on National Television, thus, giving further proof of here incompetence and helplessness. And, how can I forget the plan of action that has been charted out by the Home Ministry to curb such crimes, it’s sheer brilliance!! Since this gang rape took place in a private moving bus, the geniuses decided to do the following:

1.     Do away with tinted glasses and curtains on all private buses

2.     Impound all the defaulting buses and their owners

3.     Display the details of the driver and conductor on the bus

4.     Get the buses parked with the owners at night

5.     Increase the number of PCR Vans on duty and number of policemen patrolling at night

Here’s my problem with this AWESOME “plan”. This was a one-off incident held in a bus. There are so many rapes that occur behind closed doors, in homes of the victims or the rapists, in schools, playschools, hotels, etc. What will you do in such cases, tell people to remove doors and windows from your homes, remove curtains??? Will you tell girls to stop going to school?? Is this the solution? In the past few years, there have been incidents wherein women have been gang raped in full public view but no one did anything. What do you have to say in this case? Going by this logic, please explain, how will impounding buses stop this menace?

This is not the end, mind you. About 24 hours after the Home Ministry’s plan, the Delhi government also revealed its steps. The first step Sheila Dikshit announced was to close all bars and discotheques in the city by 1 AM. My Mind = Blown!! I guess someone needs to remind her that this incident took place at 9 PM in the night in a moving bus. So, please again someone give to me the logic behind shutting these places early as a deterrent to rape.

Also, how will having more police patrolling be of any help to women in distress when these are the same policemen who justify rape, give explanations as to why a particular woman was raped (she was wearing skimpy clothes, she has a boyfriend, she was out drinking with friends, and what not), more often than not refuse to lodge an FIR, and sympathize with the rapists. Trust me I am not bluffing. Here is the link to a sting operation conducted by Tehelka, which clearly shows how insensitive our police force is: Link

More recently, the ACP of South-East Delhi, Mr. Ajay Choudhary, made this epic statement saying that this horrific gang rape a stray incident which is being blown out of proportion! We should applaud for this guy!!

My mind boggles when I read about or hear such statements and proposed solutions from people who have been entrusted with the protection of our society and the process of making laws. Is it so difficult for them to understand that the problem is much deeper? It is the mindset of the people that has to change. Men have to learn to adapt to and accept the changing face of modern Indian women. We are no longer the docile and submissive wives/daughters of yesterday, who were dependent on their husbands/fathers for everything. The present women are socially and economically independent. They can fend for themselves and can work for their family. We have to teach men and boys to let go of their superiority complex. They have to know that women are not inferior to them, that it is OK if a woman does better than you in school, college, or at the work place. That being a male does not give you the moral right to subjugate or abuse a woman – mentally, socially or sexually.

On top of that, it is extremely important to sensitize the police and to have a competent police force to investigate such crimes. A very very low conviction rate, along with lenient punishment is one of the major causes of rapes. There is no fear of law in the people. They feel that they can get away with anything by wading a few notes in front of these police personnel. Also, very long and dragging court cases, which force the victim to relive the trauma again and again, deter the victims from reporting these cases. What is the use of having death penalty for the accused if they are not arrested and/or convicted? All of this has to change.

Lastly, we as Delhites have to leave behind our attitude of indifference and come up united against all such miscreants. If you see a girl or woman in distress, being troubled by some guy, please raise your voice and if need be thrash that person there and then. But, please don’t be meek bystanders!! Show the Delhi spirit! I, for one, have decided not to ignore any more comments, stares, etc. and go forward and give it back to that guy (s).