From Reel to Real Life...

Over the years we all have seen several movies, both in Bollywood and Hollywood, which are based on true stories and have been inspired by real incidents. It is also said that the story of every movie and/or soap opera is a reflection of real-life situations, characters, and circumstances. However, I recently witnessed, and participated in, a real-life event which seemed to be lifted directly from a commercial Bollywood potboiler. It had emotions, melodrama, and a gripping climax. To any random person it would definitely look and sound like a story from a Yashraj Productions' movie. So, here goes the script.

It was my cousin sister's engagement (ring ceremony) and sagan ceremony on 13 August (On the day of Rakshabandan). She is my real mama's (mother's brother) daughter and very close to me. Naturally, I was super excited for the function. I had bought a new suit to wear and had already told my cousin my intentions to get drunk (:P) and dance a lot at the party. I specially took an off on 12 August, just so that we could reach their place a day earlier (they stay in Hisar, a city in Haryana, and a 4 hour drive from Delhi) and help the family with the final preparations. So, on Friday (12 August) we started from from our house at a around 10.30 AM and reached my mama's house at about 2 PM. We all were very happy and could not control the excitement. Everyone was chatting loudly, discussing about the venue, the menu and other preparations. My cousin, I, and my younger sister, we all went into a separate room where my cousin showed us the dress she would be wearing on the function. Then I started teasing her that she was no longer a part of our family, and she countered that she was still very much a part for the next 6 months (her wedding was fixed for 30 January, 2012). After that we had lunch, and were about to lie down to rest for 1-2 hours when my mama got a call from the groom's side, that they wanted to meet our family in the next 30 minutes. Here, let me rewind a liitle and tell you that when we had reached Hisar, we had received the news that the boy's father was unwell and had been admitted to the hospital.

As requested by the groom's family, my mama and mami, my mom and dad, and my nani (maternal grandmother), went to the hospital to meet them. We did not think much of it and became busy with other things. Soon, more guests started arriving and we were in charge of looking after them. At around 5 or 5.30 PM, these people returned from the hospital. There was a definite change in their manner, as all the 5 looked pale, thoughtful and very worried. At first we thought that probably the groom's family had told them to cancel the function as the father was ill, but when asked, they refused any such notion. Then they started talking in whispers among each other and with other guests who were present. When my cousin could no longer contain her curosity and anxiety, she directly went to her mother and asked what was wrong. After hesitating for a few moments, my mami dropper the bombshell. The groom's family wanted the marriage itself to take place the next day (day of the ring ceremony)!!!!!!!

To say we were shocked is an understatement. As soon as my cousin heard this she started crying loudly. Seeing her, the other females present also started weeping. Then my mother came forward and consoled my cousin ad explained the situation to her. When the 5 people from our side had reached the hospital in the afternoon, they had been greeted by around 30-40 relatives from the boy's side. Most of them were crying and looked very worried. The groom's father was very ill. He was lying unconscious in the ICU connected to several machines, oxygen mask and a drip. The boy himself had his father's head in his lap and was crying. Also, the doctors had announced that his condition could not be cured and he only had a few days to live, and maximum to maximum could survive for another 2 months, but in a bad state. So, the family wanted the boy and the girl to get married during the time the groom's father was alive. They also reasoned that a new bride coming into their house might be a blessing and by some miracle the father would recover. Our family members were in a fix by this sudden turn of events and as expected, very confused. But then my dad took the decision and agreed to their request.

So, after this sudden announcement started a roller-coaster ride for all of us. My cousin, along with her mother, her mama and mami, and her brother went to the market to buy the choora, kaleeras, and other things a bride wears on her marriage. Also, she had not yet shopped for any clothes to take with her to her husband's house, and so bought a few suits, and other clothes. My mom and dad, and my mama, were looking at the other arrangements and shopping for other things. They also had to look for a venue for the pheras and got it booked immediately. Basically, all the things that generally take 1 to 2 months to be completed, had to be done within a few hours. I and my sister, on the other hand, were looking after the guests who continued to arrive at the house, as well as explain to them the reason behind the sudden marriage. Finally, my mom and dad came home at around 8 PM, and when I was alone with my mom and sister for some time, I broke down. I never imagined that I would cry so much, but I have no words to explain what all I was feeling at that moment. I was especially sad for my cousin, who had so many dreams regarding her marriage and none of them could be fulfilled. Also, it was finally sinking in that things will not be the same with her anymore and I will not be able to tease her as I did earlier. I don't know how long I cried for. By then my cousin was back, and surprisingly she was the one who consoled me. I held her and did not let her go for a long time, and she was even more surprised to see me in this state. I really admire her strength that she adjusted to the situation so quickly and did not shed even one tear after her initial outburst. If I were in her shoes, I know I would not have been able to handle all of this with the same poise, calmness and happiness.

Moving on, by 11 PM everyone had had dinner and was preparing to sleep, when we youngsters decided to have some dancing and singing. So we quickly arranged for a dholki and gathered all the ladies, and some gents, for some ladies sangeet. We all sang Punjabi songs and danced till 1.30 AM. The next day was Rakshbandhan, and we woke up early, got dressed and tied Rakhi to our respective brothers. After this we all had breakfast and then started preparing for the day ahead. At 12 PM was the saint, a function where the girl's mama mami make her wear the choora, and there's a pooja.It started at 12.30 PM and went on for around an hour. After that everyone gathered gave the girl their blessings. At around 2 PM was the lunch time and again we all were running and serving lunch to the guests. After that I was given the task to take the guests who had arrived the same day, to their hotel rooms. At about 4 PM we went back to our hotel rooms to rest for a while before the function in the evening. After a little rest, we started preparing and got ready by 6.30 PM. The we started receiving the guests who were arriving at that time, along with overlooking the final preparations. At 7.30 PM my cousin came from the parlour and I took her to my room. There we clicked some pictures and chatted, while people kept on coming in the room to have a look at the bride. She kept on telling me that she was not feeling nervous as she still could not believe it was her wedding.

Then, finally at 8.15 PM I got a call from my mama, telling me that the groom had arrived and I was to get my cousin downstairs to the venue. That is when she became very nervous and I was constantly asking her to take deep breaths. Then we reached the banquet hall and I took her to the stage where the ring ceremony was to be held. Immediately after rings were exchanged there was a small sagan ceremony, where the girl's brother puts a tilak on the groom's forehead. Strightaway after the sagan I brought the jai malas (garlands of flower) and they were exchanged between the bride and groom. By 9 PM we were heading towards the mandap where the pheras had to take place. By 11 PM, the wedding was over, but the actual party hadn' t even begun. Immediately after the marriage, it was time for the bidaai, because according to the pundit, the doli had to reach the groom's place before 12 in the night, since the auspicious day and time would end after that. So the bride and groom rushed home, then went to the hospital to seek the blessing of the father and were back to the venue before 12 AM. After that the actual party began, and we all danced till 3 AM. Finally, at 3.30 tor 4 in the morning, the function ended.

So, it was ring ceremony, sagan, marriage and reception, all combined in one. I still cannot believe that my cousin's actually married. The truth is, even she cannot believe it yet. I think it's just shock which has numbed her brain right now. Realization will hit her in another week or so as it suddenly strikes her that the gap of 6 months between this function and her actual wedding was suddenly erased.

Wait, it's not yet over. The icing on the cake was, that when my cousin went to the hospital after the wedding, the groom's father started responding, and actually hugged my cousin. Then, today my mama called up at our place to tell us that my cousin's father in law was much better and was sitting up on the bed and talking to people. It was truly a miracle and his family members feel that as soon as my cousin entered their household, some miracle had happened. I don't know if it's true or not, but it is sooo Bollywoodish.

Well, this is my script. It is absolutely real with no alterations to the original sequence of events.

Signing Out,

Still in Shock!

Speechless..Nothing Else

This is a post written in a very angry, confused and a pissed off mood!!! So, let me alert you before you go any further, that if you are not interested in reading about my problems with some people, I would advise you to not to go any further.

The last 2-3 days have been soo mentally stressing and exhausting for me, that I have no words. I don't feel like going to office any more. This despite the fact that I just returned from an absolutely awesome trip to Goa from my office's side. The irony is that for a change, my stress and anxiety has nothing to do with work at all. I am just fed up of some people at my work place, and it has become very difficult for me to remain civil with them.

These people claim to be very mature, intelligent, knowledgeable, sincere, spiritual, and last but not the least, your true friends. But, as you spend more and more time with them, you understand their true nature. In reality, they are narrow minded, have cheap thinking, have a false impression about themselves and others, assume things on their own without any grain of truth in them, have loads of misconceptions, and love to exaggerate and gossip. Ah yes, how can I forget the most important thing - find sadistic pleasure in spreading baseless rumors about others!!!!

I think each person will agree when I say that everybody loves to gossip and talk about other people. It is basic human nature, and anyone who says that he/she does not indulge in office gossip is the biggest liar. Even I do it with my very close friends. But, there is a limit to it. When gossip becomes too personal and more of a character assassination of a third person, then neither it remains lighthearted nor fun anymore. But these self-proclaimed moralists, purists and spiritualists do not understand this, and do not hesitate in talking about other people in a derogatory manner. I want to ask them, "What the bloody F**K is your problem in life?? Or don't you have a life at all??" Exaggerating and making up stuff just about a third person, only to hold the interest of your listener and show yourself in a good light is just so cheap and wannabe.

Also, diverting slightly from the topic, I would like to ask everyone just one question: If a person (boy or girl) drinks and/or smokes, then does that say anything about a person's character? I don't think so. I really fail to understand the connection. If I drink then it is my personal choice. My parents know about it, my friends know about it, even my grandparents know about it, and they all approve of it. If they do not have any problem with it and trust me completely, then what right does somebody else have to comment on this????? This is so RIDICULOUS!! Wait, it is not over yet. On top of judging you, they spread false news about you. For example, after sleeping for 3 hours the previous night, roaming around from 10 AM to 3 AM, not being well, dancing from 10.30 PM to 1 AM, and yes having only 2 drinks (a little vodka in Coke) even if you have the capacity to have many more, you have a headache and stand holding your head. Then you commit the ultimate crime - go to sleep in the car while driving back, you are immediately labelled as Drunk and Out. So, for the next two days all you hear is how one of your group mate is telling other people that you were totally sloshed and had to be taken care of, when it is utterly and completely FALSE!!!!!

Yes, now on to the assumptions and misconceptions. This is totally baffling for me. Sometimes when I hear what certain people think about themselves, and the long lengths they go to analyse on how others behave with them and why, I am completely shocked and surprised. I feel such human beings live in a fantasy world and believe only what they want to. But, the thing that irritates me the most is that these are the people who act so very philosophical, spiritual, and seem to have an answer to each and every problem in the world. However, in reality, they are emotionally disturbed, depressed and very insecure. That is the reason they assume so many things. If a guy/girl pays a little extra attention to them just because he/she is a good friend of theirs, they label that person to be in love with them. Or, if a boy and a girl are very good friends, they start linking them up. This is so very childish, immature and shallow thinking and behavior.

My head is just so messed up that I feel like burying it in the sand, like an ostrich, and never look up. Or, to simply put earplugs and not hear anything of this sort at all. Everywhere I go and whoever I talk to is bitching and cribbing about someone else. It is seriously getting on my nerves. But, more than that it is the unnecessary gossip and assumptions that have completely pissed me off. I wish I could just give tight slap or a hard shake to these people to please wake up and stop all this.

I hope the coming days are different, as I have lots of work to do and need my brain to be clean of this mess.

Signing Out,

Still Angry!