......

Ek ajeeb sa darr lag raha tha...Jaise koi train chhootne wali hai...

Bigg...Bigg...Bigg Boss!!!!

I hereby declare that I am officially in love with this show called BIGG BOSS!! I have religiously followed every season of this show (except season 3, which was pathetic), and I happily proclaim that I haven't missed even a single episode of the current season (season 5), as yet. After reading the above sentences, I am sure quite a few eyebrows would be raised, and you all will have one or more of the following thoughts going through your minds and hearts:
 - Ewww!! she watches Hindi shows, and that also something as tacky as big boss.
 - What is there to like in such a cheap show??
 - Phew! Thank god I am not the only one whose crazy about this show
 - At least someone accepts that she likes and watches the show

I agree that BB has nothing in it but weird losers fighting with each other over totally absurd and insane reasons. But that is precisely why I love this show, for its bitchy housemates, gossips, fights, link-ups, break-ups, character assassinations, the drama and the vulgarity! Basically, you can conveniently shut off your brain and enjoy watching this nonsense, and laughing at all the idiotic people who are its part.

Now onto some of my most and least favorite housemates. I would like to express my opinion about some of them. But, that cannot be done properly in English. So, here I switch over to my matrbhasha - Hindi to describe some (in)famous housemates.

MAHAK CHAHAL - Mahak meri favorite contestant hai. Bahot hi mast aur bindass bandi hai. Usko kisi maai ke laal se darr nahi lagta aur usse jo bolna hai, logon ke muh pe bolti hai. Bas kai baar doosron ke mamlon mein faltu taang adhaati hai aur zyada bol jaati hai, but on the whole shes's AWESOME!!


AKASHDEEP SAIGAL (SKY) - Saare Bigg Boss seasons ke contestants mein se ab tak ka sabse GHATIYA banda. Uski shakal dekhke mann karta hai khoon kardoon ka***e ka!! Khud ki koi aukaat nahi hai aur doosron ko loser bolta hai..Buddha kahin ka..Pooja Bedi ke support pe ooncha udta hai bas. Na bande ki shakal, aur na usme akal. Ek din solid Waat lagegi iski ghar mein!


POOJA BEDI - Iss season ki sabse irritating contestant. Har kisi ko gyaan banti rehti hai, aur har fight mein zabardasti ghus jaati hai. Sky pe fida hai aur woh jo bole wahi sahi hai iske liye. Isse lagta hai ki sabse intelligent yeh hai ghar mein aur baaki saare bewakoof bhare hain. Bloody immature buddhi! Achha hua evict ho gayi :)


SHRADDHA SHARMA - Yeh hai BB season 5 ki Dumb contestant. Jab bhi ghar mein koi fight, argument ya event hota hai, toh sab khatam hone ke baad iska ek hi question hota hai - "Kya Hua? Mujhe toh pata hi nahi chala? Arrey batao toh akhir hua kya?" Basically, Ramayan khatam ho jaati hai, aur yeh poochhti hai Sita kaun thi :) Par jab isko gussa aata hai toh asli apni asli aukat pe aa jati hai aur saamne wale ke past pe chali jaati hai. In short, Waat laga deti hai!


AMAR UPADHYAY - Yeh hai sabse Chaloo aur Shana contestant. Solid game khel raha hai. Kabhi kisi ki fight mein interfere nahi karta, but peechhe se sabko ek doosre ke khilaf bharhkata rehta hai. But, he's sophisticated aur agar ladta bhi hai toh tameez se :) Very strong contestant!


SIDDHARTH BHARDWAJ (SID) - Iski apni koi identity nahi hai. Doosre contestants ke peechhe ghumta hai. Pehle Sky ka right hand man tha, aur ab Amar ki team mein aa gaya hai. Kaafi unpredictable hai, and isko kabhi bhi, koi bhi baat buri lag jaati hai. But overall he's entertaining.


POOJA MISHRA - Ab iske baare mein main kya boloon..ekdum Psycho aur mental bandi!! Iske dimaag mein solid chemical locha hai. Faltu baaton pe jhagadti hai aur logon ko maarne pe utaaru ho jaati hai. Iske 2-3 favorite dialogues hain jo har time bolti hai - "Spare Me!", "Aap sab log mujh par negative attacks karte hain.", "Main iss ghar ki sabse co-operative, shaant aur adjustable contestant hoon.", "Talk to my hand/ass.", "Watch It!" Par yeh sabse zyada entertaining thi. Isko big boss ne khud ghar se nikaal diya, aur ab show thoda boring ho jayega.


JUHI PARMAR - Yeh hai Bedi aur Sky ke group ka teesra hissa. Yeh kabhi mujhe achhi lagti hai aur kabhi nahi. Actually, she reminds me of someone I know quite well :P Anyway, itna hai ki agar koi galat karta hai toh usko seedha bol deti hai. But kai baar chhoti chhoti baaton ko badha chadha kar bolti hai aur tension kar deti hai. Again a strong contender!


There are/were many more contestants like Shonali Nagrani, Shakti Kappor, Laxmi Narayan and Vida, but none as popular as the above described. Also, a special mention here for the great actor - Kamaal Rashid Khan (KRK). His tweets about BB season 5 are really hilarious, and extremely enjoyable. Keep up the good work KRK :) :)

So, all you Bigg Boss addicts, who are your favorite contestants in the current season??

Signing Off,
"Spare Me!!"

Belling the C.A.T....

As is very apparent from the title, I just gave my CAT. For the uninitiated, full-form of CAT is Common Admission Test, and it is an entrance examination for India's most prestigious B-schools (IIMs, FMS, and other private colleges). I gave this test once again on 18 November 2011, exactly after 3 years and 2 days (last time being 16 November, 2008). Now, I am sure you all must be wondering why did I wait for 2 years before appearing for CAT once again. Following is my list of reasons (in brief):

1. Just as I had done during my Engineering entrance exams, I had sort of made this declaration that I would be giving CAT only once. If I got through the first time, well and good, and if not, then its the end.
2. I dreamed about going to the US, to a prestigious B-school and doing MBA from there.
3. I did not have a sword with the word MARRIAGE hanging on top of my head.
4. I was not super frustrated with my job (as I am now), and hence, not desperate enough to get into a Masters course.

So, I did not get an admission in the US despite wasting around 1 lakh rupees and one whole year. On top of that, I got an ultimatum from my family that if I did not secure an admission in a Masters course this time, then there'll be no more chances for me, and they'll marry me off. Therefore, I gave CAT!

To "prepare" for the exam, I got a leave of—hold your breath—full THREE DAYS from my office!! (Unlike my friends who got three to four weeks off). Well, I had started some amount of studying for the last two to three months, but it was more of a formality and an eyewash. Anyway, so I was at home for the last week, studying intensely. Now, the deal with my folks at home is that they are equally (if possible then more) involved in my studies and examinations, as myself. This led to quite a few funny instances and questions when I was at home. I have categorized them into Before CAT and After CAT.

Before CAT


1. Whenever I used to give a MOCK test, there used to be pin drop silence at my house. My grandparents did not allow anyone to speak for 2.5 hours, so that I do not get disturbed. That's a different thing that they used to repeat the same dialogue in full volume to any person who entered the house :) Also, when I used to complete the test and emerge from my room, everyone used to pounce on me and start asking several questions. For instance, How was the exam? Did you know all the questions? Did you clear the cut-off in both the sections? What was your percentile? What was the difficulty level? etc etc etc. It was like I just gave the actual test and everything depended on it.

2. Two days before the exam, questions regarding my "level of preparation" started popping up. So, my dad asks me, "Have you completed the syllabus? Do you remember everything?" After that my mom puts a very analytical question, "So, when you compare your preparation level this time with your level of preparation in 2008, is it more, less or equivalent?" My response to this was, "Let me explain it to you mathematically. Compare 10 months of intense studying + 100s of Mock tests + regular coaching classes with 10 days of simple preparation + around 20 Mocks, so what do you get, make a calculated guess!" Also, everyone started telling me, "Give it your best shot. Do the best you can in the exam." I am thinking, "Obviously I'll do my best. That's the whole point, right? I won't go into the exam hall thinking I'll give my worst!!"


3. On the eve of the exam, my folks got into an inspirational mode and started quoting famous writers (Hindi, English and Urdu) and wherever I went, I got to hear inspirational quotes. Then, on the D-day my dad suddenly got filmy, and started mouthing Shahrukh Khan's famous 70 minutes dialogue from Chak De India. He said, "You have 140 minutes with you. Nobody can steal them from you. Give the test your best shot. You are free to do whatever you like in these 140 minutes, because these will never come back." I was thinking, "WOW!! That's something new :)"


After CAT


1. When the exam finished, the standard question was, "How did it go?" My standard answer was, "I did the best I could. I don't know after that." I gave this answer so many times in the one hour after the test, that I actually felt like recording it and just keep on playing in front of anyone and everyone I met.

2. A few people were satisfied with my answer to the above questions, but not all of them. My grandad, for instance, analyzes each and every test till great depths. To be quite frank, I get quite nervous discussing any exam with him, because I know the type of cross-questioning involved. Here is my interview with him regarding CAT:

G (Grandad): How did your exam go?
M (Me): It was fine. I did the best I could do.
G: What kind of an answer is this. How many questions were there?
M: 60 questions in total. 30 in each section.
G: So, you attempted all of them?
M: No, it is not possible to attempt all the questions. I did around 40-42 questions.
G: What? Why so less? Is the exam difficult?
M: Yes, very difficult. This attempt is considered good.
G: So, how many marks will you get?
M: I really don't know.
G: You should know that. OK, so what percentile are you expecting?
M: I can't calculate the percentile. It's a very complex process.
G: How, explain it to me...and so on.

Well, I know all of this shows mt family's concern for me, and to be frank, it's all very cute :) But, sometimes these serious situations also turn unintentionally funny! :) :) :)

So, all you CAT givers, have you faced such situations in your life too? Do let me know the details.

Signing Out,
Trying to Bell the CAT

Songs, and The Emotional Connect With Them

I seriously have nothing to write. Last week has been one of the most hectic weeks in office, and the coming week is also expected to be the same. All I have been thinking about for the past one week is my stupid project. It has literally given—and is still giving—me some really sleepless nights (I am dead serious). On top of that is the stress related to the MBA entrance exams and college applications. Basically, my thoughts are swamped with so many different things that sometimes I feel my brain is just going to explode—KABOOM!! Anyway, so to take my mind off these various stressful topics, I decided to post something truly random and useless.

I just love music. I can listen to any type of song, be it hard rock, romantic numbers, sad songs, pop music, Hindi songs, English songs, basically every song under the sun. Also, I have very varied tastes and start liking even the most terrible song. In other words, I can listen to munni badnam hui, tandoori nights, switty switty, jalebi bai, amplifier, and other such songs, with the same amount of likability (don't know if it's the appropriate word) as romantic and sad songs, and songs with meaningful lyrics. That's why, it's a common occurrence that whenever I am sitting with my parents and sister, and listening to the radio, watching a music channel, or listening to songs through some other medium, my trademark line for almost every song that is played is, "Please don't change the channel. This is such an Awesome song. I so totally love it." More than half of the time my folks ask me, after the song ends, "What was so great about it? It was just an ordinary song!" In short, I find almost every song fascinating to listen to and a song has to be really really crappy for me to dislike it. A few days back, my sister and I were switching between music channels to watch a good song, and predictably, I would ask her to stop at nearly every channel, as I liked the song coming on it. After a while she got really irritated and switched off the TV. Then she asked me, "Do you like each and every song in this world?" My reply was, " No! Obviously not." Then she asks me,"So what are your all-time favourite songs?" I told her that there are billions of songs, how can I possibly choose a few out of them. At which she twisted the question and said,"I understand that. But, just name a few songs, which, when played either on the radio, or on your phone/I-pod, you would never change them, irrespective of your mood and the work you are doing."

Hmmmm..now that got me thinking, and I started bouncing off names of some songs randomly. After I had named 4-5 songs, she stopped me and said,"So, all your favourite songs are sad songs!" Well, I had never really dwelled on that. Thus, I began thinking of more songs I consider to be my favourites, and have come up with a list of around 10 songs, which I can listen to at anytime of the day, or night, and in any mood—happy, sad, dancing, excited, depressed, busy, sleepy. Quite surprisingly, all songs given in the list are either sad, or have a melancholy feel about them. For someone who has never been in love, does not exactly know what loss is (touchwood), and is happy in life, it is very unusual to have such an emotional connect with songs of lost love, despair, and a bleak future. Anyway, here I present to you my most loved songs. Majority of them are recent ones, simply because this is a very random list, made after a few minutes of thinking and glancing at the Most Played list of my phone.

1. Tujhe Bhula Diya (Anjaana Anjaani): This has to be the best song of the decade. The first time I heard it, I just fell totally and completely in love with the song. Its music, its lyrics, its singers, its picturization, everything is perfect. From the time I added this song to my phone, it has been on top of my playlist. Also, it was my ringtone for the longest time ever. Even now, whenever I listen to it, I get completely lost in some other world.

2. Tadap Tadap Ke (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam): I heard this song for the first time when I saw HDDCS on TV, a few days after its release (thanks to Cable wallahs and pirated CDs). The way this song was picturized on Aishwarya Rai and Salman Khan, WOW!! I had goosebumps on my arms and tears in my eyes. It has such beautiful lyrics (jism mujhe deke mitti ka, sheeshe ka dil kyun banaya. Aur uspe de diya fitrat ki woh karta hai mohabbat, waah re waah teri kudrat!) The very next day, I rushed to the nearest music store, bought the cassette of this movie, and kept on playing this song over and over again for months. Till now, whenever HDDCS is coming on TV, I make it a point to watch it, at least till this song.

3. Teri Meri (Bodyguard): I would say just one thing for my love of this song. I went to the cinema hall to watch Bodyguard, only because I wanted to see this song on the big screen. Oh, and also because of Kareena Kapoor, but that was only secondary. Again, I am truly smitten by the lyrics (my favourite line in the song -ek dooje se hue juda jab ek dooje ke liye bane), the singers (Rahat Fateh Ali Khan + Shreya Ghosal = MAGIC), the music, and yes, in this case, the lead pair (what sizzling chemistry I must say). So, I have all the three versions of this song (normal, remix and reprise) and keep on listening to them.

4. Yeh Dooriyan (Love Aaj Kal): Mohit Chauhan..sigh..sheer brilliance! Also, the lyrics are such that you can actually feel the distance between two people, as if it is something tangible. Lastly, the way it has been picturized - WOW! Kudos to Imtiaz Ali for coming up with such a concept for this song.

5. Lehrein (Aisha): I came to know of the existence of this song, when I watched Aisha, which was quite some time after its release. I had heard such negative reviews about it, that I was actually avoiding watching it. But, I quite liked the movie, and was totally floored by this song. So much that, for weeks after watching the movie, as soon as I used to reach office, I would put on my headphones, put this song on repeat, and keep on listening all through the day. Such was my obsession with this song that at night I would start the movie on my laptop, forward it to this song, and then keep on listening to it.

6. Kehne Ko (Anjaana Anjaani): This song did not gain much popularity, but at the same time it is quite amazing. The music by Vishal-Shekhar and lyrics by Neelash Mishra are just so mesmerizing that you can actually feel the loneliness of the characters. And yes, the singers—Nikhil D'Souza and Monali—have sung it really well.

7. Bin Tere (I Hate Luv Storys): I have to confess that the first time I watched (rather than heard) this song, I did not like it much. After that, I started hating it, simply because it used to be on EVERY music channel I ever switched on. In the movie, I found it quite good, but not very extraordinary. However, one of my closest friend in office is completely in love with this song, and used to tell me how beautiful it is. That got me curious, and so one day, I just listened to the song without watching its video. I have to concede P, that you were absolutely right. It is indeed a very lovely and at the same time, sad song. It has got beautiful lyrics. Over time, this song has found its way into my all-time favourite list.

The rest three are English songs, and I like them purely because of their lyrics and music. Hence, I won't go into any detail about them. They are:

8. Leave Out all the Rest (Linkin Park)


9. Quit Playing Games with my Heart (Backstreet Boys)


10. Apologize (One Republic)


For someone who did not have anything to write, I surely have written quite a long post. So, I'm gonna stop right here for now. Do tell me about your favourite songs. Let's see how many of them are common with my list.

Signing Out,
The Music Lover!

Recruitment @ Thapar

Last Monday (September 5, 2011), I went to Thapar University from my office, for campus placements. There were 10 of us, and except for me and another Analyst (who is an alumnus of the college), the rest all were Senior Managers, Managers, and Assistant Managers. In other words, the other eight people constituted the "higher management" of the firm. Initially, I was quite apprehensive of going and wanted to back out. But, in the end I thought, "what the hell! Let's go and have some fun."

To say the least, it was a really awesome experience, and as the time approached I became quite excited. Firstly, we were going out of Delhi, because Thapar University is in Patiala (Punjab). This meant no office for two whole days but with attendance on both days :-) :-) Secondly, I was going for recruitment to a college, other than NSIT, for the first time, and that also with high profile people (my unit head was one of them). Last but definitely not the least, we were going to PUNJAB!!! One of my most favorite places in India. Well, we started from Delhi via train (Shatabadi Express) at 7.40 AM on Monday, and reached Ambala (where we were supposed to get down) at about 10.30 AM. From there, Patiala was a one-hour drive and the college authorities had sent in cars for us. We reached the campus by 12 PM and were straight away taken to the guest house. There we freshened up a bit and then immediately went to the main auditorium to start with the process.

There were around 370-380 students sitting for placement in The Smart Cube, the highest I had ever seen (in NSIT and DCE there are generally only 150 to 200 students sitting for a company). The first half of the process went out normally. There was the pre-placement presentation, after which we had the aptitude test. Then we went for lunch, and after that spent around 2 hours in correcting the answer sheets. By 5 PM we had shortlisted the candidates for the next round, which was the Group Discussion (GD) and had divided them into different panels. From the GD round, started, what I call the downfall of Thapar students. Now, let me divert a little and tell you something, so that you understand why I wrote the last sentence. Being an engineer myself, I have considerable knowledge about quite a few engineering colleges in India (thanks to all the research I had done when I was giving my entrance examinations in 2005). So, I have always thought that Thapar is one of the best private engineering colleges in the country. Also, two of my relatives are Thapar pass-outs and are quite intelligent, and are doing very well for themselves. Thus, I had very high expectations from the students. But, what I saw there was very disappointing. The students were so very cut-off from the real world, and lived in their own sweet world, which was limited to their campus. Also, their knowledge was completely bookish. Divert a little from the theory to practical application of a concept, and they got stumped and confused. Another thing which was surprising for me as well as the others was the lack of general knowledge in the students (This was true for even NSIT students). I remember when I was studying, I religiously used to read the newspaper, and there were many a times when me and my group of friends used to discuss the various articles we had read. Hence, I could not understand what really changed in the last two years that engineers completely stopped reading or watching news.

Anyway, after 12 GDs, and three rounds of very intense interviews, we somehow managed to give offers to four students. GDs and the interviews were really funny, to say the least. Some of the answers were so hilarious that I and my panel partner (a really cool manager) burst out laughing right there and then. Also, for some interviews, I got so engrossed in watching the by-play of questions and answers between the manager and the candidate, that I didn't ask a single question. Not surprisingly, we rejected all the students. Well, I won't go into too much details here and just like to share some of the funniest answers with you all. So, here goes:

GD Topic: Pink is the new blue

Point made by a student: Women are the overpowering and dominating the men. The Sonia Gandhi is plotting against the Anna Hajare (he actually said Hajare and not Hazare). But, Sushmita Sen is the defending the Anna Hajare in the parliament!!

Point made by another student: Girls like wearing pink clothes. Boys like wearing blue clothes. Now girls are also wearing blue clothes, and boys also wear pink shirts. So, pink is the new blue!

Interviewer: Do you read newspapers?

Interviewee: No

Interviewer: Then how do you keep in touch with the happenings in the outside world?

Interviewee: I read news on the internet, I read Yahoo News.

Interviewer: Oh..how often is that?

Interviewee: Whenever I log-in to check my e-mail, I read the news given on the Yahoo homepage. Also, I check my mail around thrice a week, so I read the news three times a week.

Interviewer: Who is the Vice President of India?

Interviewee: No, I don't know.

Interviewer: Who is the Vice President of the US?

Interviewee: Sorry, I don't know this also.

Interviewer: Who is the President of France?

Interviewee: I don't know this as well.

Interviewer: Who is the CEO of Infosys?

Interviewee: Sorry, I don't know this one either. (Laughs in a funny way at this point)

Interviewer: Can you name some competitors of Facebook?

Interviewee: Ummm..aahhhh.. (she takes 5 minutes to think)

Interviewer: Do you know what's Facebook?

Interviewee: Yes Yes. Ummm..I think one competitor is Gmail. (Let me tell you, this female is a student of Computer Science engineering)

Interviewer: Do you know actually know what's Facebook? Do you have an account?

Interviewee: Yes, I have an account. I made it a few days back only, because we get all our placement updates through that only.

Interviewer: Right. So I'll just tell you that Facebook is a social networking site. Now can you tell me the competitors?

Interviewee: I know Facebook is social networking, so even Gmail is social networking.

Interviewee: But Gmail is web-based email. There is a difference between the two.

Interviewee: Keeps shut and gives a weird and irritating smile.

Interviewer (to the same Computer Science female): Have you studied computer networking?

Interviewee: Oh..so now you'll ask me technical questions?

Interviewer: Errr..Yes. Any problem?

Interviewee: He he (again the irritating smile) Not at all.

Interviewer: So, can you tell me the difference between a circuit switch and a packet switch?

Interviewee: Ummm..(thinks for two minutes and then gives some hopelessly wrong answer).

Interviewer: Are you sure?

Interviewee: Sorry, I don't know this (The frigging smile is back!! Grr..)

Interviewer: Which is the one sector in India wherein you would want to invest, and why?

Interviewee (answers immediately): Automobile vendors'/suppliers' sector.

Interviewer: Why is that?

Interviewee: There is a shortage of automobile parts in India. When recession came in 2008, automobile suppliers stopped producing the parts. Now also, when automobile manufacturers are asking for parts, the suppliers are not manufacturing enough, due to fear. So, I will invest and make the parts available to the manufacturers.

Interviewer: But, we have been hearing that the recession might come back. So, don't you think that it is a risky investments?

Interviewee: No no. As I said, there is shortage. So, it will be very profitable business.

Interviewer: Can you estimate the number of females in all the beauty parlours in Patiala on a Wednesday afternoon, between 3 and 4 PM?

Interviewee: There are 5 good parlours in Patiala. They are - Lakme, Habibs, etc. (gives five names). So, once I went to Habibs on a Wednesday, between 3 and 4 PM. There were eight girls in the parlour before me, I was the ninth, and there was one female after me. Thus, we were a total of 10 females. Now, 10 in one parlour, total five parlours, make it 50 females in all parlours in Patiala on a Wednesday afternoon between 3 and 4 PM.

Last but not the least, there was one guy who had actually done his SWOT (Strength - Weakness - Opportunity - Threat) Analysis, and had got a print-out of it to give to the interviewers. Super cool, isn't it?

Well, we also had a lot of fun in eating out and shopping in Patiala. But that requires another post altogether. That's it for now.

Signing Out,

Punjabi by Nature!!

From Reel to Real Life...

Over the years we all have seen several movies, both in Bollywood and Hollywood, which are based on true stories and have been inspired by real incidents. It is also said that the story of every movie and/or soap opera is a reflection of real-life situations, characters, and circumstances. However, I recently witnessed, and participated in, a real-life event which seemed to be lifted directly from a commercial Bollywood potboiler. It had emotions, melodrama, and a gripping climax. To any random person it would definitely look and sound like a story from a Yashraj Productions' movie. So, here goes the script.

It was my cousin sister's engagement (ring ceremony) and sagan ceremony on 13 August (On the day of Rakshabandan). She is my real mama's (mother's brother) daughter and very close to me. Naturally, I was super excited for the function. I had bought a new suit to wear and had already told my cousin my intentions to get drunk (:P) and dance a lot at the party. I specially took an off on 12 August, just so that we could reach their place a day earlier (they stay in Hisar, a city in Haryana, and a 4 hour drive from Delhi) and help the family with the final preparations. So, on Friday (12 August) we started from from our house at a around 10.30 AM and reached my mama's house at about 2 PM. We all were very happy and could not control the excitement. Everyone was chatting loudly, discussing about the venue, the menu and other preparations. My cousin, I, and my younger sister, we all went into a separate room where my cousin showed us the dress she would be wearing on the function. Then I started teasing her that she was no longer a part of our family, and she countered that she was still very much a part for the next 6 months (her wedding was fixed for 30 January, 2012). After that we had lunch, and were about to lie down to rest for 1-2 hours when my mama got a call from the groom's side, that they wanted to meet our family in the next 30 minutes. Here, let me rewind a liitle and tell you that when we had reached Hisar, we had received the news that the boy's father was unwell and had been admitted to the hospital.

As requested by the groom's family, my mama and mami, my mom and dad, and my nani (maternal grandmother), went to the hospital to meet them. We did not think much of it and became busy with other things. Soon, more guests started arriving and we were in charge of looking after them. At around 5 or 5.30 PM, these people returned from the hospital. There was a definite change in their manner, as all the 5 looked pale, thoughtful and very worried. At first we thought that probably the groom's family had told them to cancel the function as the father was ill, but when asked, they refused any such notion. Then they started talking in whispers among each other and with other guests who were present. When my cousin could no longer contain her curosity and anxiety, she directly went to her mother and asked what was wrong. After hesitating for a few moments, my mami dropper the bombshell. The groom's family wanted the marriage itself to take place the next day (day of the ring ceremony)!!!!!!!

To say we were shocked is an understatement. As soon as my cousin heard this she started crying loudly. Seeing her, the other females present also started weeping. Then my mother came forward and consoled my cousin ad explained the situation to her. When the 5 people from our side had reached the hospital in the afternoon, they had been greeted by around 30-40 relatives from the boy's side. Most of them were crying and looked very worried. The groom's father was very ill. He was lying unconscious in the ICU connected to several machines, oxygen mask and a drip. The boy himself had his father's head in his lap and was crying. Also, the doctors had announced that his condition could not be cured and he only had a few days to live, and maximum to maximum could survive for another 2 months, but in a bad state. So, the family wanted the boy and the girl to get married during the time the groom's father was alive. They also reasoned that a new bride coming into their house might be a blessing and by some miracle the father would recover. Our family members were in a fix by this sudden turn of events and as expected, very confused. But then my dad took the decision and agreed to their request.

So, after this sudden announcement started a roller-coaster ride for all of us. My cousin, along with her mother, her mama and mami, and her brother went to the market to buy the choora, kaleeras, and other things a bride wears on her marriage. Also, she had not yet shopped for any clothes to take with her to her husband's house, and so bought a few suits, and other clothes. My mom and dad, and my mama, were looking at the other arrangements and shopping for other things. They also had to look for a venue for the pheras and got it booked immediately. Basically, all the things that generally take 1 to 2 months to be completed, had to be done within a few hours. I and my sister, on the other hand, were looking after the guests who continued to arrive at the house, as well as explain to them the reason behind the sudden marriage. Finally, my mom and dad came home at around 8 PM, and when I was alone with my mom and sister for some time, I broke down. I never imagined that I would cry so much, but I have no words to explain what all I was feeling at that moment. I was especially sad for my cousin, who had so many dreams regarding her marriage and none of them could be fulfilled. Also, it was finally sinking in that things will not be the same with her anymore and I will not be able to tease her as I did earlier. I don't know how long I cried for. By then my cousin was back, and surprisingly she was the one who consoled me. I held her and did not let her go for a long time, and she was even more surprised to see me in this state. I really admire her strength that she adjusted to the situation so quickly and did not shed even one tear after her initial outburst. If I were in her shoes, I know I would not have been able to handle all of this with the same poise, calmness and happiness.

Moving on, by 11 PM everyone had had dinner and was preparing to sleep, when we youngsters decided to have some dancing and singing. So we quickly arranged for a dholki and gathered all the ladies, and some gents, for some ladies sangeet. We all sang Punjabi songs and danced till 1.30 AM. The next day was Rakshbandhan, and we woke up early, got dressed and tied Rakhi to our respective brothers. After this we all had breakfast and then started preparing for the day ahead. At 12 PM was the saint, a function where the girl's mama mami make her wear the choora, and there's a pooja.It started at 12.30 PM and went on for around an hour. After that everyone gathered gave the girl their blessings. At around 2 PM was the lunch time and again we all were running and serving lunch to the guests. After that I was given the task to take the guests who had arrived the same day, to their hotel rooms. At about 4 PM we went back to our hotel rooms to rest for a while before the function in the evening. After a little rest, we started preparing and got ready by 6.30 PM. The we started receiving the guests who were arriving at that time, along with overlooking the final preparations. At 7.30 PM my cousin came from the parlour and I took her to my room. There we clicked some pictures and chatted, while people kept on coming in the room to have a look at the bride. She kept on telling me that she was not feeling nervous as she still could not believe it was her wedding.

Then, finally at 8.15 PM I got a call from my mama, telling me that the groom had arrived and I was to get my cousin downstairs to the venue. That is when she became very nervous and I was constantly asking her to take deep breaths. Then we reached the banquet hall and I took her to the stage where the ring ceremony was to be held. Immediately after rings were exchanged there was a small sagan ceremony, where the girl's brother puts a tilak on the groom's forehead. Strightaway after the sagan I brought the jai malas (garlands of flower) and they were exchanged between the bride and groom. By 9 PM we were heading towards the mandap where the pheras had to take place. By 11 PM, the wedding was over, but the actual party hadn' t even begun. Immediately after the marriage, it was time for the bidaai, because according to the pundit, the doli had to reach the groom's place before 12 in the night, since the auspicious day and time would end after that. So the bride and groom rushed home, then went to the hospital to seek the blessing of the father and were back to the venue before 12 AM. After that the actual party began, and we all danced till 3 AM. Finally, at 3.30 tor 4 in the morning, the function ended.

So, it was ring ceremony, sagan, marriage and reception, all combined in one. I still cannot believe that my cousin's actually married. The truth is, even she cannot believe it yet. I think it's just shock which has numbed her brain right now. Realization will hit her in another week or so as it suddenly strikes her that the gap of 6 months between this function and her actual wedding was suddenly erased.

Wait, it's not yet over. The icing on the cake was, that when my cousin went to the hospital after the wedding, the groom's father started responding, and actually hugged my cousin. Then, today my mama called up at our place to tell us that my cousin's father in law was much better and was sitting up on the bed and talking to people. It was truly a miracle and his family members feel that as soon as my cousin entered their household, some miracle had happened. I don't know if it's true or not, but it is sooo Bollywoodish.

Well, this is my script. It is absolutely real with no alterations to the original sequence of events.

Signing Out,

Still in Shock!

Speechless..Nothing Else

This is a post written in a very angry, confused and a pissed off mood!!! So, let me alert you before you go any further, that if you are not interested in reading about my problems with some people, I would advise you to not to go any further.

The last 2-3 days have been soo mentally stressing and exhausting for me, that I have no words. I don't feel like going to office any more. This despite the fact that I just returned from an absolutely awesome trip to Goa from my office's side. The irony is that for a change, my stress and anxiety has nothing to do with work at all. I am just fed up of some people at my work place, and it has become very difficult for me to remain civil with them.

These people claim to be very mature, intelligent, knowledgeable, sincere, spiritual, and last but not the least, your true friends. But, as you spend more and more time with them, you understand their true nature. In reality, they are narrow minded, have cheap thinking, have a false impression about themselves and others, assume things on their own without any grain of truth in them, have loads of misconceptions, and love to exaggerate and gossip. Ah yes, how can I forget the most important thing - find sadistic pleasure in spreading baseless rumors about others!!!!

I think each person will agree when I say that everybody loves to gossip and talk about other people. It is basic human nature, and anyone who says that he/she does not indulge in office gossip is the biggest liar. Even I do it with my very close friends. But, there is a limit to it. When gossip becomes too personal and more of a character assassination of a third person, then neither it remains lighthearted nor fun anymore. But these self-proclaimed moralists, purists and spiritualists do not understand this, and do not hesitate in talking about other people in a derogatory manner. I want to ask them, "What the bloody F**K is your problem in life?? Or don't you have a life at all??" Exaggerating and making up stuff just about a third person, only to hold the interest of your listener and show yourself in a good light is just so cheap and wannabe.

Also, diverting slightly from the topic, I would like to ask everyone just one question: If a person (boy or girl) drinks and/or smokes, then does that say anything about a person's character? I don't think so. I really fail to understand the connection. If I drink then it is my personal choice. My parents know about it, my friends know about it, even my grandparents know about it, and they all approve of it. If they do not have any problem with it and trust me completely, then what right does somebody else have to comment on this????? This is so RIDICULOUS!! Wait, it is not over yet. On top of judging you, they spread false news about you. For example, after sleeping for 3 hours the previous night, roaming around from 10 AM to 3 AM, not being well, dancing from 10.30 PM to 1 AM, and yes having only 2 drinks (a little vodka in Coke) even if you have the capacity to have many more, you have a headache and stand holding your head. Then you commit the ultimate crime - go to sleep in the car while driving back, you are immediately labelled as Drunk and Out. So, for the next two days all you hear is how one of your group mate is telling other people that you were totally sloshed and had to be taken care of, when it is utterly and completely FALSE!!!!!

Yes, now on to the assumptions and misconceptions. This is totally baffling for me. Sometimes when I hear what certain people think about themselves, and the long lengths they go to analyse on how others behave with them and why, I am completely shocked and surprised. I feel such human beings live in a fantasy world and believe only what they want to. But, the thing that irritates me the most is that these are the people who act so very philosophical, spiritual, and seem to have an answer to each and every problem in the world. However, in reality, they are emotionally disturbed, depressed and very insecure. That is the reason they assume so many things. If a guy/girl pays a little extra attention to them just because he/she is a good friend of theirs, they label that person to be in love with them. Or, if a boy and a girl are very good friends, they start linking them up. This is so very childish, immature and shallow thinking and behavior.

My head is just so messed up that I feel like burying it in the sand, like an ostrich, and never look up. Or, to simply put earplugs and not hear anything of this sort at all. Everywhere I go and whoever I talk to is bitching and cribbing about someone else. It is seriously getting on my nerves. But, more than that it is the unnecessary gossip and assumptions that have completely pissed me off. I wish I could just give tight slap or a hard shake to these people to please wake up and stop all this.

I hope the coming days are different, as I have lots of work to do and need my brain to be clean of this mess.

Signing Out,

Still Angry!

Three Friends, Two Movies and...

Recently, I saw two Hindi movies which were very different from mainstream Bollywood. They were Delhi Belly and Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. Both the movies were about male bonding, and in both of them the lead characters were three best friends (in Delhi Belly they were Imran Khan, Vir Das and Kunal Roy Kapoor, while in ZNMD they were Farhan Akhtar, Hrithik Roshan and Abhay Deol). However, the similarity ends here. In terms of the story, the content and direction, the two movies were as different from each other as chalk and cheese.

Now, I am a sort of a person who watches movies just for enjoyment, and so it is rare that I dislike a movie. So, as expected, I really liked Delhi Belly and as well as ZNMD, but both of them for very different reasons. Here's a list of things I liked about both the movies, and which one out f the two would I prefer watching again in a movie theater.

I. DELHI BELLY

Why I like it

1. It's Different: When I say this, I simply mean that it is something which I have not seen before. The language used is very bold and it really takes guts to make such a risky film. So, kudos to the director and producer. I know that at this point quite a few of you would argue that this film could have been made sans the abusive language. Well, let me clarify that neither am I justifying the use of profanities, nor am I endorsing it. I am just saying that it was gutsy on the part of the team to come up with something like this.

2. Situational Comedy: I admit that I found the movie hilarious!!! Some of the scenes were just brilliant. Also, the best part was that the real humour did not come always come from the dialogues, but the actions of the characters. My personal favourites are: the scene where Vir Das tries to drink water while wearing a burqua, the one where Shehnaz's face is covered with a paper bag and she tries to run and bangs into a wall, the scene when the ceiling of Imran's, Vir's and Kunal's house falls off and the audience can see only a leg of a kathak dancer, and yes the one where a goon announces "Loondry!". There are many more such scenes, but these ones are memorable.

3. Music: I think the real essence of this movie is its music. The songs are very unconventional and if heard otherwise, might not be liked by many. But somehow they are totally apt for this movie. Again, my favourites in order of preference: Switty Switty, Nakkadwale Disco, Saigal Blues, Jaa Chudail and DK Bose.

4. Direction: The camera work and overall direction is pretty good. The narrow lanes, the unhealthy street food, the shabby house where the three guys stay, every detail has been taken care of. Also, the movie is fast paced and does not let the audience get distracted for even a minute. Lastly, a running time of 93 mintues without any Interval makes it a perfect watch.

II. ZINDAGI NA MILEGI DOBARA

Why I like it

1. Spain: I have just one word for it—MAGICAL! The way Zoya Akhtar has shown the mesmerising beauty of this country is just amazing. The sea, the mountains, the villages, the towns, the tomatina festival, everything has been so brilliantly captured in the movie that I just wanted to jump from my seat and rush off to Spain.

2. Acting: After a long long time there came a movie wherein each and every actor was so perfectly cast for their roles, and each of them did justice to their characters. Farhan, Hrithik, Abhay, Katrina, Kalki, Naseeruddin Shah, Deepti Naval, each actor brought out his/her character on the screen beautifully. Also, all the actors looked at so much ease that it was easy for the audience to forget that they were only acting out a part.

3. Humour: Yes, this movie also made me laugh very much. But, here it was the wittiness of the characters, the intelligent dialogues, certain expressions on the faces of the actors, amazing concepts like Bagwati, the innocence portrayed by all three friends, and the typical guy stuff that happens when boys get together which brought about laughs and claps and whistles from the audience. However, there were no below the belt jokes and no cheap slapstick comedy.

4. Story: Totally unlike Delhi Belly, this movie had a story, which provided a smooth flow to the narration. It is a story of growing up, of facing challenges and overcoming your fears in life. It is a story of realizing the importance of certain small things in life, such as your own breaths. And most importantly, it is about a journey, as Panky my friend rightly said, "a journey to your soul!"

5. Mature and Practical Characters: This is a commonality I have observed in all movies made by Farhan and Zoya Akhtar, that the characters are very mature, practical and close to real life. They are never larger than life, nor are they portrayed as superheroes. The characters are simply real life common people. For instance, Naseeruddin Shah's character, Salman Habib, was so clear in what he wanted from life and made his decision accordingly. Also, even after 25-30 years, he does not regret his decision and his personality has not changed at all. Similarly, Abhay Deol's character, Kabir, is very practical. He does not want his fiance (Natasha, played by Kalki) to change her priorities in life just because they are getting married. Also, as he says, he does not want "Do jism ek jaan types wala pyar."

6. Dialogues: There are certain deep and soul searching dialogues in the film which force you to think about your own life, the direction it's taking and your priorities. Particularly Katrina's dialogues are superb.

7. Imran's Poetry: Last but definitely not the least. Javed Akhtar's poetry, recited in the film by Farhan Akhtar, is the soul of this movie. There are five couplets which come in the background of the movie, and each one is better than the other. Here's the link to Pankaj's blog post if you want to read the four major poems. Given below is the one which is my personal favourite. I generally don't get effected by poems and typically don't go into much depth. But after listening to this piece of poetry, for the first time in my life, I had tears in my eyes, and goosebumps all over my skin. I don't know why or how it happened, but it touched somewhere deep in my heart.

Jab jab dard ka baadal chaya
Jab ghum ka saya lehraya
Jab aansoo palkon tak aya
Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya
Humne dil ko yeh samjhaya
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai
Duniya mein yunhi hota hai
Yeh jo gehre sannate hain
Waqt ne sabko hi baante hain
Thoda ghum hai sabka qissa
Thodi dhoop hai sabka hissa
Aankh teri bekaar hi nam hai
Har pal ek naya mausam hai
Kyun tu aise pal khota hai
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai...

There are several other things which I loved about this movie like the sky diving scene. But, the post has become too long to go into the details of it.

My Pick

Without a doubt it's Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara!! Simply because I personally could not find a  single flaw in the movie, whereas, I can point out several defects in Delhi Belly. Some of them, in brief, are: lack of a good story, sketchy characters without any details about them, failure of the movie to leave an impact, etc.

So, which of the tow did you find better? Do let me know!

Signing Out,

The Movie Buff

Is LOVE Real?

I had initially thought of writing a post recounting my experience of a recent trip to Thailand. I had even drafted a rough post in my mind. But, I changed my mind at the last minute. So, here's a post which is probably the most serious and thoughtful one I have ever written.

For the last 2-3 weeks, most of my conversations with friends have started or ended with the topics love, commitment, heartbreak, crush or girlfriends/boyfriends. Also, everywhere I look, I see people either in a committed relationship and looking towards marriage, or trying to work out a long distance relationship and missing their partners, or people desperately searching for love, or people suffering from one-sided love and trying to come to terms with their feelings.

Then, a few days ago one of my very close friends in office asked me, "Have you ever been in love or a in a relationship?" I replied, "No." When he asked my why, I told him that I never found anyone. I also declared that I was happily and willingly single. After that we moved on to other topics. However, somewhere in my mind his question kept nagging me and as I thought about it more and more, I became quite confused, and my inner turmoil grew. This one question had led to numerous other questions in my mind.

The first question I have is: What is LOVE?


I have been around many couples who claim they are deeply in love with each, have seen hundreds of romantic movies—both Hindi and English—and romance is my favorite genre, have heard (and still enjoy listening to) thousands of romantic songs, and have read many many romantic novels (Mills and Boon, Harlequin, etc.) thanks to a friend in college who sent me a link to a large collection of free Mills and Boon e-books (I still read these books for pure fun and time pass, whenever I feel bored.). Despite all this, I have never been able to understand love. I would like to clarify so many things about it.
1. Is love instant, like love at first sight, or does love grow gradually between two people?
2. Can two complete strangers fall in love (as we see in movies and read in books), or is it necessary for two people to know each other before they fall in love (like Shahrukh Khan says in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, "Love is friendship. If a girl cannot be my best friend, then I can never love her.")?
3. How does one realize that the other person is the love of his/her life? Do you just know, or is there some special sign?
4. Does love necessarily involve a physical relationship, or can two people in love have a platonic relationship?
5. Also, can two people be in a physical relationship without being in love with each other? - I would like to explain the root of this question. Well, as I mentioned above, I have read numerous contemporary romance novels over the last 3-4 years. The one thing I found common in it was that a man and woman met each other and felt a sudden physical chemistry. They lusted after each other and after some avoidance and hesitation ended up having sex. This happened mostly mid way through the book. However, they did not fall in love and proclaim their love to each other till the last or second last page of the book. So, I always wondered, how can two people have a purely sexual relationship without any emotions?

The second question which I have is: What does it feel like to be in LOVE?


Maybe because I haven't experienced this feeling ever, I am ignorant, and hence, asking this question. But I have always wanted to know that what happens to a person when he/she falls in love with someone that it alters his/her personality completely. A perfectly logical and rational human being suddenly starts behaving in foolish and crazy ways. I have observed people's priorities change, outlook towards life change, relationship with others change and several different changes. So, just like my first big questions, I would like to understand some things here too.
1. When a person falls in love, do all the other things, like family, friends, career, etc., take a back seat and only that one person becomes the number one priority?
2. Does being in love mean that you keep constant tabs on your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse/fiance and give him/her an update about everything that you have done in a day or are doing at that very instant, including something as trivial as watching TV?
3. Does being in love make you totally unaware of your surroundings and your life revolves around that one special person in your life?
4. Does it become difficult to spend even one minute or second apart from each other, and your thoughts are constantly crowded only by him/her?
5. Does loving your partner feel the same like loving your parents, siblings and family, so much that life without him/her is unthinkable and unimaginable?
6. Does love make you forgiving and you are ready to forgive anything wrong your partner has done? Does being in love make you strong enough to forgive something as serious as infidelity?
7. Does being in love leaves you at the mercy of only one person, so much that you are willing to do absolutely anything, go to any lengths, to make that person your own, or have him/her love you back?
8. If a person can fall in love, then can he/she fall out of love too, or is he/she is bound to love only one person for the rest of his/her life, irrespective of the fact that he/she may not receive that same love in return?
9. Does being in love give you the strength to fight all the superficial barriers of caste, religion, age, traditions, rituals, etc., which the society has put up?
10. Is love a strength or a weakness?

My very last question is more for myself and I cannot seem to find an answer for it: Can I see myself falling in love with someone and feeling this powerful emotion?
Some days back, a colleague in office did a psychological test on me. After the test she told me that I am ready for a commitment, that I am ready to take the plunge and not wary of it. Also, I was told by someone once long back that I am a very passionate person and when I fall in love, it will be a very passionate relationship and I would give myself completely to it, so much that I would not care about the world, society, my family, or anyone else.
However, when I think about it, I feel differently. Somehow, I cannot see myself loving someone so intensely. I might be wrong, but this is my personal opinion. All my life I have been friends with so many guys that I have lost count. But I have never ever felt anything other than a friendly liking for any of them. So, I am totally clueless in this matter.

If you have answers to any of the questions I asked above, then do give them to me. It would help me to understand this emotion much better.

Signing Off,
Clueless about Love

A Different World Altogether

Hello Lovelies :-)

Long time no see!!

Although my intentions were good, I couldn't update my blog for a long time because of lack of time. But now that I am here, I will try my best to do a "Good Job"!

Some of you must be wondering as to why am I writing in such a weird manner. Well, it's just that I went on an outbound training from office recently, and I still seem to have the Mukteshwar Hangover!!

More than a training it was sort of an adventure camp with several physically challenging activities, such as trekking, rock climbing and rappelling. Also, we stayed in tents with no electricity, and no modern luxuries like refrigerators, geysers, internet etc. Overall it was an exhilarating experience and an immensely enjoyable trip. But, this is not a post where I recount all the tasks which did in Mukteshwar. Here, I just want to share with you all my experience about one particular task, which was completely different from all the other physically exhausting and adrenaline pumping activities. This was the very last task of our training program, and it was the one which exposed me to a world which was completely in contrast to the one I have known and lived in for the last 23 years of my life.

Well, the activity was pretty straightforward. We were divided into teams of three members each and taken to a small village near Mukteshwar, called Dhoopgarh. There we had to approach the local villagers and offer our services in return for lunch. Basically, we had to work for them and earn our lunch for the day. It was quite a tricky task as we had no idea whether the villagers would welcome us, or what kind of work would we be expected to do, or would they trust us enough to give us entry into their homes. With all these questions in mind, along with just one objective, some how to get food, we set out towards the village.

It was a long walk of about one or one and a half hours through a very rocky terrain. The sun was out in full force, and by the time we reached our destination we were all burned, tanned and filled with sweat. As we spotted a few houses we increased our pace and went searching for the villagers. I was a little ahead of the other two members of my team, and as soon as I spotted a house with a lady working courtyard which had not been approached by any other team till now, I went there to introduce myself. I told her that I worked in a company in New Delhi, had come here for the company's training program, and was staying in a camp in Mukteshwar. As a part of the training, we had been given the task to visit a village and spend a few hours at a house in the village to observe the rural lifestyle, and help the household members in their daily chores. I did not mention that we needed food in return. By that time my two other team members had also arrived and we made the introductions. As expected, the lady was a little apprehensive and was thinking about what to do next, when suddenly her mother-in-law, an old lady of around 70 years of age, emerged from the kitchen. She was very excited to see us and immediately told her daughter-in-law to open the first floor drawing room and make us sit there. After that we were treated like royal guests at their place.

They first served us a sweet drink, a sharbat, which was a welcome relief after walking so for so long. Then, the lady got peaches and plums, freshly plucked from the family's own plantations, and fed us the fruits. In the mean time a male member of the family had joined us and we started speaking with him about his family, his work, the general state of affairs in the village, and other general things. At that time the old lady also walked in and told us, rather ordered us, that we could not leave without having lunch! Internally, we all breathed a sigh of relief :-) A little while later their children also came in we started asking them questions about their education and school. When the kids were called downstairs by their mom, I also accompanied them into the kitchen. Once there, I tried to help the lady with her work, but she would not hear of it and made me sit on the floor and started chatting with me. After finishing her work, she also sat besides me and we spent a good 30-45 minutes discussing the difference between village and city life. She also inquired about my family and background. Then we were told that the lunch was ready. All three of us tried very hard to let us do some work, as we felt that we did not deserve the food we were eating. But, they wouldn't even hear of it. But when we became adamant, just to placate us, they offered to let us help them after we had eaten the food. Lunch was quite a lavish affair, and we ate rice, pulses, potato subzi, salad, mango pickle and tomato chutney. It was all very delicious and our stomachs were completely full by the time we finished.

We still had one more hour to spend with them. So, when I told this to the old lady and asked her what we could do to help, her reply was, " We will place the cots in the courtyard, and why don't you people take a nap for an hour?" :-D :-D However tempting the offer was, we declined and again started pestering them to let us do some work at least. At last, they told us to go with the children and gather some fruits from the trees located a short distance away from their house. We are quite happy to finally get something to do, and went to pluck fruits. We were very amazed to see the wide variety of fruits hanging from trees. There were peaches, plums, khurmanis, pears, apples, and many more other fruits. We plucked peaches and plums, as rest of the fruits were not yet ripe, and went back to the house. As we gave them the bag of fruits, they refused and asked us to take accept it as a gist from their side. Again we were dumbstruck and could not say anything to them. Soon it was time to leave and as we said our goodbyes, they all told us to come and visit them again. We started on our journey back. After we had covered some distance, we heard some noise behind us, and turned out. We were shocked to see the old lady carrying lots of plums in her hands and running after us. We stopped and when she reached us, she forcefully put the plums in our bag and told us that these were for the rest of our group.

All the way back I could not help but wonder about the generosity and hospitality of these simple village folk, and compare it with the totally opposite attitude of those living in cities. Theses people trusted complete strangers, allowed them into their house, and treated them with utmost respect. Simply unbelievable! While in the cities, people do not treat even their very close relatives this way. It was an eye opener for me and I felt so overwhelmed and humbled by their genuine affection and love. This activity was, no doubt, the best out of all, and was a lesson in life to me. I wish I could go back and spend some more time with these wonderful and caring people.

Here are some pictures I took of them.

The old lady with her dog

 Me with the kiddos.

 The lady of the house

Still more to come, but for now.

Signing Out,

Still Mukteshwar Hungover!

A Happy Post :)

With a sudden drop in the level of activity on this blog, you all must have realized that I am back to work. My life has again started revolving around the office, and all my thoughts are in one way or the other linked to my workplace. I had been meaning to update my blog for the last two weeks, and had even started some posts, but as always, I lost my train of thought somewhere in the middle and had to drop the idea. Then on Friday a weird thing happened at work, which made me aware of the fact that how small gestures and words can bring a smile to someone's face and lift their spirits. In this case, that someone is yours truly. I decided that I just had to write this post. My hands were itching to type it as soon as possible.


The incident (I don't know whether this is a correct word to use, but I can't think of any other more appropriate word right now) turned out to be quite funny, but it just made my day! Here's what happened:


It started as a normal day. As usual, I woke up at 5 AM, got ready in my workout gear and hit the gym. After working out for an hour, I came back home, got ready for work, and was sitting in the office cab by 8 AM. Since I was feeling a little sleepy, I put on my headphones, started listening to songs on my mobile, and closed my eyes. The last song I heard before reaching office was Quit Playing Games With my Heart, by Backstreet Boys. It's quite an old song, but I simply love it. I still remember when I first heard it. I was in the seventh or eighth standard, and my cousin had got a "cassette" recorded from a music shop nearby. He had given me the cassette to listen to his choice of songs, and had specially recommended this number. I admit that from the first time I heard the song, I fell in love with it. Since then, it has always been there on all my music players, cell phones, PCs, laptops, etc, and I listen to it as often as I can. Well, coming back to the topic at hand.


As I told you, this song was the last one I heard before I reached office and switched off the music. But, the lyrics were still swirling in my mind. There are these particular lines in the song, I am extremely fond of. They are:

Deep within my soul, I feel

Nothing's like it used to be

Sometimes I wish I could

Turn back time

Impossible as it may seem

But I wish I could

So bad

Whenever I listen to these lines I get a different sort of feeling, which cannot be expressed in words. Since the lyrics were still going through my mind, after I had switched on my computer, checked my mail, and logged into AOL messenger (our official messenger), I made the lines my status message on the messenger. Then I started on with my work. Barely five minutes later, I received a 'ping' from my counselor, which said: "Hi, how are you? Are you feeling fine?" To tell you the truth, I was a little surprised at receiving this. Before you make any assumptions, let me clarify that I share a very good relationship with my counselor. She and I chat pretty regularly and whatever problem I have, I go directly to her to discuss it. But, despite our good bonding and friendly relationship, it is still a little weird to get a ping from her out of the blue, and that also at the very start of the day. So, I replied by saying that I was fine and everything was going well. At this point she questioned me, whether I was telling the truth!! Again, not a normal question at all. So, I 'pinged' her again and asked as to what made her feel that I was not fine, to which she replied, "I got worried after reading your status message. It sounds sad. So, I thought I'll ask you what the problem is." Wow!! Now this was unusual. I assured her that nothing was wrong, and I just like this song and hence, put some lines from it as the status. But she still asked me to meet her after sometime and have a casual chat. So, I ended up having a half an hour long discussion with my counselor during which I tried to convince her that everything was great on my side. I also ended up giving her this song, as she was also quite fond of it.

But, this was not the end of it either. After sometime, a friend of my mine came to my workstation and straight away asked me, "Kya hua? Itni dukhi kyun hai?" (What happened? Why are you so upset?). I did not understand the question and just kept on staring at her with a puzzled look on my face. After a minute she told me that my status message gave the impression that I am sad and depressed. I started laughing and assured her that it was nothing, just a song. She got convinced, we talked generally for a few minutes and then she left. About 15-20 minutes later, another friend of mine dropped by and asked the very same question! At this point I was thinking to myself, "These guys give so much importance to status messages on AOL!! What's wrong with them?" But, I repeated the very same answer, which I had given to my other friend earlier. He also started laughing and went away shaking his head.

The story does not end here also. One of my cab mates was on leave that day. But, she was online from home, in an invisible mode. Suddenly, she sent me a ping which said,"Awesome status message!! But what happened? All well?" This is it, I decided. I had to change my message. I never knew that a status message can create such an impression on people. I gave her the very same reply once again. Soon after that I removed the controversial message, and instead put something simple instead.

After reaching home, when I looked back on the incident, I had a really good laugh. But also, I felt humbled by the concern of so many people. A mere status message made me realize that there are people, other than my family and a few close friends, who genuinely care about me. Thanks for all your questions and worries guys! It meant a lot to me.

Signing Out,

Ciao!

Think About It

My mom recently went to a Parent Teacher Meeting (PTM) at my sister's school. There, each parent was given a circular which contained a few paragraphs, depicting the reality of today's life. After reading the circular, I thought of sharing those lines with you, as they are so relevant in today's times.

Think About It

The paradox of our time in history is that:

We have taller buildings , but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses, but smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, but less solutions; more medicines, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too. We've learnt how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice. We have higher incomes, but lower morals; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stock-room.

Before ending this post, I would like to share a quote by RW Emerson (again given in that same circular), "We are always getting ready to live, but never living."

Happy Thinking,

Ciao!!

Sathya Sai Baba - A God Man or Just A Man

In the last few weeks, especially since last Sunday, Sathya Sai Baba has become the biggest news in India. You open any newspaper or switch on any news channel, you are bound to find atleast one article about the man. For those who don't know who I am talking about, let me give you a small introduction to the man who called himself God.

Sathya Sai was (and still remains) India's most popular God man. He has approximately 40 million followers across 168 countries in the world. He was born in 1926 in a small town, Puttaparthy, in Andhra Pradesh (India). At the age of 14 he claimed to be the avatar (re-incarnation) of Shirdi Sai Baba. Thus, began the journey of this self proclaimed God and spiritual leader. He died on April 24, 2011, at the age of 84, of multi-organ failure.

With his death came the overflow of information about him, his deeds of philanthropy, miracles performed by him, and what not. Andhra Pradesh declared a four-day state mourning in his honour. Every high profile politician, right from Sonia Gandhi, Manmohan Singh to LK Advani and Murli Manohar Joshi expressed their grief on Sathya Sai's passing away on national television. Channels constantly showed pictures of lakhs of devotees assembled in the ashram in Puttaparthy, crying as though they had lost a loving member of their family. They also aired old footage showing the various 'miracles' performed by Baba, such as suddenly producing vibhuti (holy ash) in his empty hands and distributing it among his followers, or magically producing watches, necklaces, gold rings and other accessories out of thin air. One video showed a 3 tonne gold lingam (shivling) emerging from within Sathya Sai body, at a Shivratri function in his ashram, in 2004.
Newspapers carried first hand accounts of devotees who had experienced life changing events after they came in contact with Sathya Sai. They also showed photographs of many high profile celebrities like Sunil Gavaskar and Sachin Tendulkar breaking down while sitting in front of his body before the funeral.

I, like every other citizen of India, had heard about Sathya Sai Baba. For me, until recently, he was a guy with long curly black hair who wore only orange clothes, and whose name was similar to the name of another God man. I have been raised to believe that the only God is a power above in the sky, and that no man or woman on Earth can possibly match it. So, I was never interested in learning anything about Sathya Sai, or for that matter any other baba or guru. Then, one fine day in December 2000, I came across an issue of India Today (a leading weekly magazine) lying on my grandfather's bed. I started flipping its pages without much interest, and suddenly came across a story about this self proclaimed God. The article alleged that Sathya Sai was a paedophile who sexually abused small boys and young men, and demanded sexual favors from his devotees. There were first-hand accounts from ex-devotees who described their ordeal and torture in detail. As I read through the story, I felt repulsed by the man and was convinced that every spiritual leader is a fraud who plays with the emotions of innocent and ignorant people to accumulate wealth. However, with time I forgot about the story and about the man itself.

But, with the great influx of news about him in the last few weeks, I became curious. Any news channel I saw or any newspaper I read, I could only find positive stories about Sathya Sai. There was no mention of any controversy around him and no one spoke about him negatively. As I vaguely remembered that old magazine article about him, I started searching about him on the internet. After a few articles which praised him, I found loads and loads of web pages, stories, blogs, and international newspaper articles which condemned Sathya Sai, and told the tales of his misdeeds. During my research, I also stumbled upon a documentary made on him by BBC, called The Secret Swami. The 60-70 minute documentary was a revelation. It contained interviews with devotees, ex-devotees, politicians, and rationalists. It exposed all of baba's 'miracles' as simple magic tricks. Also, it revealed how the BJP government, under the leadership of Atal Bihari Vajpayee, had taken out an order to close down all the investigations against Sathya Sai, related to sexual abuse and the murder of four of his close aides in 1993. Following are the links of the documentary that can be watched online for free:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

After watching this documentary, my mind was actually in a turmoil. It was very difficult for me to understand that how could people be so blind so as to ignore the facts staring them in their faces. It was so easy for anyone to just stand up one day and announce they he/she was the avatar of some God and convince foolish people that he/she had magical powers, by showing some cheap tricks. All I could think was that becoming a baba or spiritual leader is the most profitable business worldwide today. Look at Sathya Sai, that's exactly was he did, and gradually became the head of a trust worth Rs. 40,000 crores (approximately $9 billion).

In conclusion, I would just like to say that the picture of Sathya Sai baba that formed in my mind after watching the documentary and reading the numerous articles was that of a con man, and not a god man. What are your thoughts on it? Do let me know.

Signing Out,
Still Confused

Anger Management

Before you cancel this page just by glancing at the title of this post, and start cursing me in your mind by thinking, "WTF!! Another crazy and amateur person trying to teach us anger management techniques!!! I'm just so sick of this..@#$@#", please let me explain. This is not a post to teach anyone anything. Although, I would safely call myself an expert on anger management advisory. Believe you me, I have heard and read about the weirdest of ways there are to control your temper. Now I am sure there'll be a bubble coming out of your head with a question, which is: How and why does a sweet, innocent, soft spoken, and shy girl like Aastha know so much about controlling anger? I have never seen her lose her temper...To answer your question, I am sure you all must have heard the saying that Looks are deceptive! So, the bottomline is that I am a very very very short tempered person, and when I get angry I get totally out of control and say things to people which I generally don't mean. Also, my bursts of anger usually last for days at a stretch and I become completely uncommunicative. I know it's my biggest character flaw and overshadows all my positive points. At this point, I would like to just shout out something:

MOM, DAD, GRANDMOM, GRANDAD!! LOOK I FINALLY ADMITTED THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM AND I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

Whew...that feels good. Why I did this is because my family is very irritated by and at the same time, worried about by temper. So much so, that they recently went to a pandit (a complete shocker for me, because my dad considers himself to be an atheist!!!!) and, on his suggestion, have made me wear a pearl ring to cool me down. Also, whenever they come across any article related to anger or anger management, they cut it out of the newspaper or magazine, and then force me to read it. It gets so very irritating after a while, to see your table cluttered with bits and pieces of paper everyday, and all saying the same thing, in either English or Hindi.

Ohh..Sorry, I strayed off for a bit. Coming back to the topic at hand. So, as I was telling you that my bouts of anger last for days altogether. However, for the past few weeks  months, a weird is happening to me. Suddenly, I have become hostile to some people (mostly people at the office) and remain angry at them all the time. So much, that even if I see them from far away or if they pass by my workstation, or for that matter if someone just mentions their name in a general conversation, I feel my blood starting to boil. My whole demeanor changes and I feel like just picking up something and smashing it against the wall. I really don't know the reason behind this behavioral change, but sometimes it gets really frightening. I feel very guilty sometimes, because some of these people are or were very good friends of mine. But, at the same time the reaction is not in my control. I try to shake away these feelings, but in vain. Also, with time, instead of diminishing, my anger at these people has increased manifold. It may be their attitude, their personality or their behaviour which I dislike, but it gets very scary when you feel that level of rage at a person.

However, after saying all this, I must thank some people, in addition to my family, who really make all my bad temper, anger and frustration go away in a jiffy. They make me laugh even if I am in a very sour mood or going through some problems. Basically, they help me keep my cool and sanity at work and sometimes at home too. First and foremost are two very special people - Preeks and DJ, with whom I have spent the best four years of my life. We have laughed at everything under the sun. Even now, they can make me smile with just a stupid remark, a silly SMS, or just by seeing their name being flashed during an incoming call on my cell phone. A biiggg thank you guys  :-) Next comes a person who I truly idolize. She is one of the wittiest and funniest (dunno whether this is a word or not) human being I have come across. At the same time, she is a great advisor, a brilliant counsellor, and a fantastic motivator. She is, the one and only JENNY!! A true friend in every sense, she is simply awesome!! She has been through a lot in life, but you will never see her greet you with anything but a dazzling smile that will make you forget all your problems. Thanks for always being there Jenny, you are a source of inspiration and strength to me.

I know this post has become horribly long, but I still have to thank some more people. Next in line is Panky, a person who listens to all my cribbing, my fears, my problems, without being judgmental. I feel very light headed and good after talking with him. He has a whacky sense of humor that totally cracks me up. Also, we have so much in common that we can go on chatting for hours and not run out of topics. Thanku Panku!!!

Then there is Jassi, who is very protective of me. He considers my problems to be his own, and gets agitated if I am tense or unhappy. Dude, it's real fun concocting imaginary conspiracies with you against some people :-)

I know I have missed out on many more people, but I will have to stop before the readers fall asleep.

Will come back with more later. Till then

Signing Out,
The Anger Consultant