Bigg...Bigg...Bigg Boss!!!!

I hereby declare that I am officially in love with this show called BIGG BOSS!! I have religiously followed every season of this show (except season 3, which was pathetic), and I happily proclaim that I haven't missed even a single episode of the current season (season 5), as yet. After reading the above sentences, I am sure quite a few eyebrows would be raised, and you all will have one or more of the following thoughts going through your minds and hearts:
 - Ewww!! she watches Hindi shows, and that also something as tacky as big boss.
 - What is there to like in such a cheap show??
 - Phew! Thank god I am not the only one whose crazy about this show
 - At least someone accepts that she likes and watches the show

I agree that BB has nothing in it but weird losers fighting with each other over totally absurd and insane reasons. But that is precisely why I love this show, for its bitchy housemates, gossips, fights, link-ups, break-ups, character assassinations, the drama and the vulgarity! Basically, you can conveniently shut off your brain and enjoy watching this nonsense, and laughing at all the idiotic people who are its part.

Now onto some of my most and least favorite housemates. I would like to express my opinion about some of them. But, that cannot be done properly in English. So, here I switch over to my matrbhasha - Hindi to describe some (in)famous housemates.

MAHAK CHAHAL - Mahak meri favorite contestant hai. Bahot hi mast aur bindass bandi hai. Usko kisi maai ke laal se darr nahi lagta aur usse jo bolna hai, logon ke muh pe bolti hai. Bas kai baar doosron ke mamlon mein faltu taang adhaati hai aur zyada bol jaati hai, but on the whole shes's AWESOME!!


AKASHDEEP SAIGAL (SKY) - Saare Bigg Boss seasons ke contestants mein se ab tak ka sabse GHATIYA banda. Uski shakal dekhke mann karta hai khoon kardoon ka***e ka!! Khud ki koi aukaat nahi hai aur doosron ko loser bolta hai..Buddha kahin ka..Pooja Bedi ke support pe ooncha udta hai bas. Na bande ki shakal, aur na usme akal. Ek din solid Waat lagegi iski ghar mein!


POOJA BEDI - Iss season ki sabse irritating contestant. Har kisi ko gyaan banti rehti hai, aur har fight mein zabardasti ghus jaati hai. Sky pe fida hai aur woh jo bole wahi sahi hai iske liye. Isse lagta hai ki sabse intelligent yeh hai ghar mein aur baaki saare bewakoof bhare hain. Bloody immature buddhi! Achha hua evict ho gayi :)


SHRADDHA SHARMA - Yeh hai BB season 5 ki Dumb contestant. Jab bhi ghar mein koi fight, argument ya event hota hai, toh sab khatam hone ke baad iska ek hi question hota hai - "Kya Hua? Mujhe toh pata hi nahi chala? Arrey batao toh akhir hua kya?" Basically, Ramayan khatam ho jaati hai, aur yeh poochhti hai Sita kaun thi :) Par jab isko gussa aata hai toh asli apni asli aukat pe aa jati hai aur saamne wale ke past pe chali jaati hai. In short, Waat laga deti hai!


AMAR UPADHYAY - Yeh hai sabse Chaloo aur Shana contestant. Solid game khel raha hai. Kabhi kisi ki fight mein interfere nahi karta, but peechhe se sabko ek doosre ke khilaf bharhkata rehta hai. But, he's sophisticated aur agar ladta bhi hai toh tameez se :) Very strong contestant!


SIDDHARTH BHARDWAJ (SID) - Iski apni koi identity nahi hai. Doosre contestants ke peechhe ghumta hai. Pehle Sky ka right hand man tha, aur ab Amar ki team mein aa gaya hai. Kaafi unpredictable hai, and isko kabhi bhi, koi bhi baat buri lag jaati hai. But overall he's entertaining.


POOJA MISHRA - Ab iske baare mein main kya boloon..ekdum Psycho aur mental bandi!! Iske dimaag mein solid chemical locha hai. Faltu baaton pe jhagadti hai aur logon ko maarne pe utaaru ho jaati hai. Iske 2-3 favorite dialogues hain jo har time bolti hai - "Spare Me!", "Aap sab log mujh par negative attacks karte hain.", "Main iss ghar ki sabse co-operative, shaant aur adjustable contestant hoon.", "Talk to my hand/ass.", "Watch It!" Par yeh sabse zyada entertaining thi. Isko big boss ne khud ghar se nikaal diya, aur ab show thoda boring ho jayega.


JUHI PARMAR - Yeh hai Bedi aur Sky ke group ka teesra hissa. Yeh kabhi mujhe achhi lagti hai aur kabhi nahi. Actually, she reminds me of someone I know quite well :P Anyway, itna hai ki agar koi galat karta hai toh usko seedha bol deti hai. But kai baar chhoti chhoti baaton ko badha chadha kar bolti hai aur tension kar deti hai. Again a strong contender!


There are/were many more contestants like Shonali Nagrani, Shakti Kappor, Laxmi Narayan and Vida, but none as popular as the above described. Also, a special mention here for the great actor - Kamaal Rashid Khan (KRK). His tweets about BB season 5 are really hilarious, and extremely enjoyable. Keep up the good work KRK :) :)

So, all you Bigg Boss addicts, who are your favorite contestants in the current season??

Signing Off,
"Spare Me!!"

Belling the C.A.T....

As is very apparent from the title, I just gave my CAT. For the uninitiated, full-form of CAT is Common Admission Test, and it is an entrance examination for India's most prestigious B-schools (IIMs, FMS, and other private colleges). I gave this test once again on 18 November 2011, exactly after 3 years and 2 days (last time being 16 November, 2008). Now, I am sure you all must be wondering why did I wait for 2 years before appearing for CAT once again. Following is my list of reasons (in brief):

1. Just as I had done during my Engineering entrance exams, I had sort of made this declaration that I would be giving CAT only once. If I got through the first time, well and good, and if not, then its the end.
2. I dreamed about going to the US, to a prestigious B-school and doing MBA from there.
3. I did not have a sword with the word MARRIAGE hanging on top of my head.
4. I was not super frustrated with my job (as I am now), and hence, not desperate enough to get into a Masters course.

So, I did not get an admission in the US despite wasting around 1 lakh rupees and one whole year. On top of that, I got an ultimatum from my family that if I did not secure an admission in a Masters course this time, then there'll be no more chances for me, and they'll marry me off. Therefore, I gave CAT!

To "prepare" for the exam, I got a leave of—hold your breath—full THREE DAYS from my office!! (Unlike my friends who got three to four weeks off). Well, I had started some amount of studying for the last two to three months, but it was more of a formality and an eyewash. Anyway, so I was at home for the last week, studying intensely. Now, the deal with my folks at home is that they are equally (if possible then more) involved in my studies and examinations, as myself. This led to quite a few funny instances and questions when I was at home. I have categorized them into Before CAT and After CAT.

Before CAT


1. Whenever I used to give a MOCK test, there used to be pin drop silence at my house. My grandparents did not allow anyone to speak for 2.5 hours, so that I do not get disturbed. That's a different thing that they used to repeat the same dialogue in full volume to any person who entered the house :) Also, when I used to complete the test and emerge from my room, everyone used to pounce on me and start asking several questions. For instance, How was the exam? Did you know all the questions? Did you clear the cut-off in both the sections? What was your percentile? What was the difficulty level? etc etc etc. It was like I just gave the actual test and everything depended on it.

2. Two days before the exam, questions regarding my "level of preparation" started popping up. So, my dad asks me, "Have you completed the syllabus? Do you remember everything?" After that my mom puts a very analytical question, "So, when you compare your preparation level this time with your level of preparation in 2008, is it more, less or equivalent?" My response to this was, "Let me explain it to you mathematically. Compare 10 months of intense studying + 100s of Mock tests + regular coaching classes with 10 days of simple preparation + around 20 Mocks, so what do you get, make a calculated guess!" Also, everyone started telling me, "Give it your best shot. Do the best you can in the exam." I am thinking, "Obviously I'll do my best. That's the whole point, right? I won't go into the exam hall thinking I'll give my worst!!"


3. On the eve of the exam, my folks got into an inspirational mode and started quoting famous writers (Hindi, English and Urdu) and wherever I went, I got to hear inspirational quotes. Then, on the D-day my dad suddenly got filmy, and started mouthing Shahrukh Khan's famous 70 minutes dialogue from Chak De India. He said, "You have 140 minutes with you. Nobody can steal them from you. Give the test your best shot. You are free to do whatever you like in these 140 minutes, because these will never come back." I was thinking, "WOW!! That's something new :)"


After CAT


1. When the exam finished, the standard question was, "How did it go?" My standard answer was, "I did the best I could. I don't know after that." I gave this answer so many times in the one hour after the test, that I actually felt like recording it and just keep on playing in front of anyone and everyone I met.

2. A few people were satisfied with my answer to the above questions, but not all of them. My grandad, for instance, analyzes each and every test till great depths. To be quite frank, I get quite nervous discussing any exam with him, because I know the type of cross-questioning involved. Here is my interview with him regarding CAT:

G (Grandad): How did your exam go?
M (Me): It was fine. I did the best I could do.
G: What kind of an answer is this. How many questions were there?
M: 60 questions in total. 30 in each section.
G: So, you attempted all of them?
M: No, it is not possible to attempt all the questions. I did around 40-42 questions.
G: What? Why so less? Is the exam difficult?
M: Yes, very difficult. This attempt is considered good.
G: So, how many marks will you get?
M: I really don't know.
G: You should know that. OK, so what percentile are you expecting?
M: I can't calculate the percentile. It's a very complex process.
G: How, explain it to me...and so on.

Well, I know all of this shows mt family's concern for me, and to be frank, it's all very cute :) But, sometimes these serious situations also turn unintentionally funny! :) :) :)

So, all you CAT givers, have you faced such situations in your life too? Do let me know the details.

Signing Out,
Trying to Bell the CAT