For 24 years and 6 months of my life, I was in the protective cocoon of my home and family. Around 3 weeks back my life took a dramatic turn and I landed in the US, all alone without any family member. That is when I realized the true meaning and importance of having your family close to you.
Don't get me wrong, I have always immensely loved and respected my family. However, there are quite a few things that I had taken for granted all these years. Also, there were things that I had become so accustomed to that I did not realize how much I will miss them. Small and trivial things, such as sitting in my room and listening to my mom watching soap operas in her room, having silly fights with my sister, those 15 minute chatting sessions with my dad after he came home at 10.30 PM, Sunday dinners with everyone, my mom hugging me for no reason once in a while, etc. Also, there are so many chores that I never had to worry about when I was at home, such as washing the clothes, making my bed, breakfast/lunch/dinner, etc. Then there was the unconditional love you get from your parents, siblings and grandparents. I think there is no other place in this world where a person can be loved so truly and completely, and accepted with all of his/her imperfections, except your own home.
There were so many times when during arguments/fights with my parents, I would say to them, "I will be better off staying alone with no one to interfere in my life!" I admit how wrong I was. I now understand that it was their interference in my life that made it so smooth.I really miss those instructions that I received from my parents, all those advisories about where to go, when to be back home, what to do and what not to do, how to go about a problem, etc. In short, I miss their constant interference in my day to day life.
Probably for the first time in my life, I am independent and completely on my own, and that also in a country like the US. It sounds really exciting and fun, but for me it's not. It is hard surviving on your own with no one for moral support. It's hard knowing that no one is waiting for you at home and coming back to an empty house. It's hard not having your near and dear ones with you to discuss your feelings, your fears, and your apprehensions with. But it's the hardest just being away from your family!
I feel extremely lonely and scared. In the past few days, all I have been thinking about is whether I made the right decision by coming here to do my MBA and spending such a humongous amount of money. Will I be able to survive in such a competitive MBA program and get a good internship/job? How will I be able to live without my family for so long?
I don't know where life will take me and what will become of me. I guess I will figure out as I go along.
Signing Off,
Aastha
Don't get me wrong, I have always immensely loved and respected my family. However, there are quite a few things that I had taken for granted all these years. Also, there were things that I had become so accustomed to that I did not realize how much I will miss them. Small and trivial things, such as sitting in my room and listening to my mom watching soap operas in her room, having silly fights with my sister, those 15 minute chatting sessions with my dad after he came home at 10.30 PM, Sunday dinners with everyone, my mom hugging me for no reason once in a while, etc. Also, there are so many chores that I never had to worry about when I was at home, such as washing the clothes, making my bed, breakfast/lunch/dinner, etc. Then there was the unconditional love you get from your parents, siblings and grandparents. I think there is no other place in this world where a person can be loved so truly and completely, and accepted with all of his/her imperfections, except your own home.
There were so many times when during arguments/fights with my parents, I would say to them, "I will be better off staying alone with no one to interfere in my life!" I admit how wrong I was. I now understand that it was their interference in my life that made it so smooth.I really miss those instructions that I received from my parents, all those advisories about where to go, when to be back home, what to do and what not to do, how to go about a problem, etc. In short, I miss their constant interference in my day to day life.
Probably for the first time in my life, I am independent and completely on my own, and that also in a country like the US. It sounds really exciting and fun, but for me it's not. It is hard surviving on your own with no one for moral support. It's hard knowing that no one is waiting for you at home and coming back to an empty house. It's hard not having your near and dear ones with you to discuss your feelings, your fears, and your apprehensions with. But it's the hardest just being away from your family!
I feel extremely lonely and scared. In the past few days, all I have been thinking about is whether I made the right decision by coming here to do my MBA and spending such a humongous amount of money. Will I be able to survive in such a competitive MBA program and get a good internship/job? How will I be able to live without my family for so long?
I don't know where life will take me and what will become of me. I guess I will figure out as I go along.
Signing Off,
Aastha
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ReplyDeleteOf course you will..these are the initial days..it is already three weeks and soon it will be three months..then three years!! It will all turn out well..and of course you made the right decision..and you will get an awesome job..Aastha...sirf naam hi kaafi hai :) Loneliness is terrible but we have to live with it.. :) :)
ReplyDeleteP.S. - It might sound hypocritical but this is how I also am feeling for the last few days..
pehli baari jao, to shuru shuru me lagta hai.. koi nahi, thode din me chill ho jayega..
ReplyDeletelekin is lesson se seekh lena, ki baccho ko school/college me hi hostel me daal dena, taki bade hoke naa roye :D
Completely agree with you Aastha...
ReplyDelete