Children, Shopping, Recipes blah...blah...

DISCLAIMER:  This post is not meant to offend anyone in any way. It's a humorous post and should be taken in a lighter vein.

This post is not about any of the topics mentioned in the title. In fact, this post is about a person who is my colleague, and also a friend. These 3 subjects are an integral part of her existence. Whenever she opens her mouth, all a person hears is something pertaining to either her relatives' kids, or what all shopping she did over the weekend, or maybe how to make a certain vegetable.

My college friends know that I really love to talk. I have the ability to chat for hours non-stop. During college days my whole group used have long and lively discussions about movies, books, politics, religion and so much more. But, back then too there were a few topics that were forbidden territory, and it was nothing less than sacrilege to even bring up subjects like children or recipes in a discussion. So, when I heard the female in question talk endlessly about these things, for once I really had nothing to say.

Here is a sneak peek at my routine lunch time: At 12:45 pm sharp 'the one who must not be named' comes to my work station to call me for lunch. By the way, I have told her hundreds of times that I won't go for lunch before 1:15 pm, but I think that she has some ear-mind co-ordination problem. The reason why I say this is because she hears everything I say, but somehow her brain fails process this information. For example, she asks me my Project Lead's name everyday at least thrice (no, I am not exaggerating), and forgets it almost immediately. Anyway, moving on. So, I send her away and ask her to come later. Then, at 1:15 we move to the cafeteria. We heat our food and then sit down to eat. As soon as we are seated, she starts with her "discussion". The only problem is that it's totally one way. I sit mutely, while she blabbers on continuously. Here is a sample conversation:

She says," Pata hai kal mere mama ke bacchon ne kya kiya ?? blah blah.. ( Do u know what did my uncle's kids do yesterday?..)
My thoughts: "How the hell would I know what they did. I was not at your uncle's place spying on them, and frankly I care a damn. Neither do I know your uncle nor do I know the kids !!!"
My response: " No, yaar what happened?", and then she goes on about the kids.

Next topic:
She tells us," Tumhe pata hai ki meri mami roz subah uthh kar subzi banaati hai, phir woh gym jaati hain, uske baad nashta banaati hain etc. etc. Aaj unhone Kele (banana) ke kofte bannaye hain. Uski recipe hai..blah...blah...blah"
My thoughts:"WTF !!! where am I stuck ?? God please save me !! I am not interested in learning to make friggin kela koftas, nor am I interested in your aunt's daily routine..@#@###&&& !!!"
 My response:"Wow yaar, she's an efficient lady."

Third topic:
She says,"Weekend kaisa tha tumhara ?"
My answer," It was fine."
Then I make the mistake of asking her about her weekend. Here's what she has to say," Maine toh bahut kuch kiya. Saturday ko main shopping gayi. Wahaan, maine yeh khareeda, yeh khaaya, yeh kiya..."
My thoughts: "Another 15 minutes gone..:( Damn you girl !!! what the bloody hell is wrong with you !!! Can't you act like a normal person for once. Just shut up and let me have lunch in peace !!!"

Now, from what I have written it seems that she is some middle aged married female. But, the truth is that she is just 1 year elder to me and holds an MBA degree (from a college that I haven't even heard of). Well, if this is what an MBA does to a person, then I am surely having second thoughts about going for it..:)

I guess I will learn to live with gibberish. Who knows, maybe the next time I meet my friends I start my conversation somewhat like this: "Pata hai kal meri mummy ne tinda banaya tha. Uski recipe hai......."..:-D